You Don’t Have To Settle For Less Than Exactly What You Want

I have to admit, I’m a bit of a “bottler.” I tend to bottle up how I’m feeling about something until it pushes me to the point that I explode.

Maybe you can relate? But I really hope you can’t, because that is no way to live your life. And truth be told, walking around with bottled up emotion or unexpressed opinions actually blocks you from receiving what you’re asking for.

Why?

Because when you push your voice down and act like what you think or have to say doesn’t matter, it’s like you’re sending a message to the Universe that says, “I don’t matter” and “I’m not good enough to have a voice.” And that unworthy feeling will only attract more things that you feel unworthy about.

One area where I tend to shut up, even when I’m having a bad experience, is customer service. I tend to have a bad experience with a service provider and then instead of speaking up and letting them know that I’m having a bad experience, I just shut up and continue to let the bad experience go on.

It’s annoying, really. Because then not only do I get bad customer service, but I also block myself from receiving what I actually want.

But today, I didn’t do that.

My old MacBook has been at the computer shop for three weeks. I was told it would be there for three days. Then they didn’t even fix it (too much water damage, wasn’t worth it). I’m not sure what the hell they did with it over the last three weeks.

And then I was told I could come by this morning to pick it up at 9:45 a.m. So I dragged my ass out of bed even though I slept like shit last night and I went to pick it up.

But when I got there the shop was closed and the guy who runs it wasn’t there to meet me like he said he would be.

Normally this is a situation where I’d just shut up and not say anything. But a friend of mine reminded me the other day of why it’s so important to have standards and not be willing to negotiate on receiving what you want.

And what I wanted was good customer service from the guy fixing my computer. I felt I deserved it, especially considering how much he was charging me and he didn’t even fix the computer.

So I spoke up. I shared my truth, and that is, I am paying a lot of money for your service and I deserve to be treated better than this.

I actually said this to him, as nice as I possibly could. I didn’t say it in a mean way and I didn’t call him names or anything like that (that’s the wrong way to speak your truth). I just let him know that I feel that I deserve better customer service than he was giving me.

Simple.

And then again, at Starbucks this morning, which I went to after the computer pick up fell through, I couldn’t get what I wanted. They were out of the gluten-free sandwich and didn’t have the syrup flavor I wanted.

Ordinarily I would’ve just picked something else from whatever they did have. But, again, I knew that would mean I was settling for less than what I wanted.

So I left and went to another Starbucks. The second Starbucks had what I wanted, and I also had a great conversation with the barista who I could tell actually wanted to be there and actually cared about what she was doing.

Something my friend made me realize this week is how often we’re willing to settle for less than what we really want. Because we’re afraid we can’t have it or can’t get it or because we believe that it’s rude or not “nice” to speak up or have standards.

I used to think and believe that stuff too. I used to tell myself that it was wrong to expect more or to want more. I used to believe that you have to settle if you’re not getting what you want right in that moment.

But you can’t live the life of your dreams if you’re always settling or if you never speak up and share how you really feel about something.

You don’t have to be rude and you don’t have to make a big deal about it. Just hold yourself accountable for speaking your truth and for not settling and not bottling up how you really feel.

My friend really inspired me. She’d been house-hunting for a while and had a list of things she wanted in a new place. Her realtor told her that she probably wouldn’t get all of it and to be open-minded.

But she knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t willing to accept anything less.

As the days wore on and as she looked at more and more houses that were close to what she wanted but not quite everything, she began thinking about settling. In fact, she almost did settle, for a house that was very close to what she wanted.

But something in her knew that she deserved more and believed it was possible for her to get what she really wanted.

So she held off. She decided to wait it out. She made patience her new best friend.

And not long after that, she found the perfect place. It was exactly what she wanted. It checked off every item on her list. And they even gave her a killer deal on it, which was a bonus she hadn’t even asked for.

It all came out of her willingness to not settle until she got exactly what she wanted.

Don’t get me wrong, compromise is a part of life and sometimes what you want isn’t available in that exact moment. So you may have to hold out. It all depends on how important it is for you to get what you want right then and there or if you’re willing to compromise or wait it out.

But you always get to choose. And you don’t have to settle for anything less than what you really want.

Dream life or bust,

 

 

 

 

#DreamLifeOrBust #DailyThinkDifferent

P.S. It’s coming!!! The doors to the Bestselling Author Mastermind are opening again next week!!! This is by-far the BEST way to work with me, as you not only get access to me in a private Facebook group, and the badass BAM member’s site with TONS of trainings and resources to help you plan and develop your story and then write, revise, publish and sell your book, but you also get FREE access to ALL of my workshops and digital products that cost $100 or less (and most of them do). If you can’t wait another minute, you can join my email list right now so you’re the first to know when the doors open (and you get a free copy of my eBook, The Bestselling Author Mindset Formula): www.jenniferblanchard.net/newsletter

How To Combine Energetic Mindset Actions With Practical Physical Actions To Create Manifestation Magic

A little more than a year ago I discovered something: you can make pretty much anything you want happen if you combine practical, physical action with doing energetic mindset actions.

The energetic mindset actions aren’t enough on their own… and neither are the practical physical actions. Sure, the practical physical actions will help you make some progress and will get you somewhere, but it will feel hard and you’ll struggle a whole lot.

But all of that can totally be avoided when you combine the two types of actions. Because in combining the actions, you summon the magic and the power of universal energy to support you.

If you just do the energetic mindset actions, you’ll be connected with universal energy, but you won’t be doing anything in your actual reality to make something happen. That’s the equivalent of meditating on your couch and thinking all of your dreams will come true.

On the opposite side, when you only do the practical physical actions in your reality and you think that’s enough, you’ll often find you have to work really, really hard. And you still won’t achieve what you want. Because practical physical actions alone will eventually burn you out. Usually before you’ve reached your goal.

The problem is, most people have been programmed to believe that you have to manipulate and make changes in your physical reality if you want anything to change.

And that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The truth is while you do have to make changes in your physical reality in some way, you don’t have to only make changes that way. And, really, when you do the inner work, your outer reality can totally change all on its own.

Because what you see in your current reality is simply a reflection of your internal world and what you’ve been thinking and believing up to this point.

So if you change your thoughts and change your beliefs, your reality will change with it. It has to, because that’s how it works.

Your thoughts and beliefs create your reality. So what you see all around you right now is simply a byproduct of your past thoughts and beliefs.

Your reality is effect NOT cause.

Most people believe the opposite–that what they see in their reality is causing them to have certain thoughts or reactions or beliefs. Nope. Your thoughts and beliefs are creating the reality you see around you.

Beliefs and thoughts come first, reality comes after.

This is the distinction that finally got me working more on my inner game and mindset than spending time trying to fix or adjust things in my actual life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made a lot of practical physical changes in my life over the years as well, but the biggest changes that I’ve made came from inside.

And those have not only been the best changes, but they’re also the ones that stuck and actually shifted things in my life.

So let’s break this down again… first come your beliefs. Your beliefs are already programmed in you and have been for most of your life.

From these beliefs that are programmed into your subconscious mind come your thoughts. And then your thoughts dictate the decisions you make and the actions you take.

What DOESN’T happen–although this is what most people think happens–is you see something in your current reality that then triggers a thoughts which then triggers a decision or action. Nope.

Because your beliefs and thoughts are first creating what you see in your reality. So it’s not possible for it to work the other way around.

You’re only seeing what you’re seeing or experiencing what you’re experiencing in your current reality because you first hold a specific belief about that thing you’re looking at or experiencing, and then that belief triggers a thought, which then triggers your perception of what you’re seeing or experiencing.

At first this may send your mind into a tailspin, but trust me when I say that after you fully accept how things really work, your entire life will change.

Because then you can consciously on purpose choose your beliefs and thoughts which will then effect the reality you’re seeing around you.

For example–I decided a while back that I was tired of having to drive around a parking lot over and over again until I found a spot. But I had a belief that you had to drive around and look for a spot and that front-row parking spots are hard to come by. Pretty ridiculous beliefs to have, but that’s what I was working with.

So I created a new belief: I always get front-row parking spots.

It took some time for me to reprogram this into my subconscious before it started to manifest in my life, but once it did, that’s what I nine times out of ten experience: I get front-row parking spots.

Even on the busiest days of the week at the busiest places. Somehow I have perfectly divine timing and I show up when the front-row spot is available or I roll up and someone is just pulling out of a front-row spot so I can pull in.

How did I create this belief that is now true in my reality? I simply decided that I was going to. And then I combined practical physical actions with energetic mindset actions until it became true.

First I just repeated it to myself over and over again whenever I was going somewhere. I’d just say, “I always get front-row parking.” (Energetic mindset action)

Then I started to write it in my daily journaling and intention setting, “I always get front-row parking.” (Energetic mindset action)

Then during my visualization practice I’d see myself getting front-row parking wherever I went. (Energetic mindset action

Then when I was driving somewhere, I’d imagine myself finding a front-row spot. (Practical physical action + energetic mindset action)

And when I got where I was going and I found a front-row spot, I’d actually park there. (Practical physical action)

And then after I parked and got out of the car, I’d say, “thank you” out loud, to let the Universe know that I was grateful that the front-row parking space was there for me. (Practical physical action + energetic mindset action)

Anytime I went somewhere and I didn’t find a front-row spot, I wouldn’t waste any time wallowing in it or saying it wasn’t working or anything like that. I would just park wherever I could find a spot (practical physical action) and then I’d pretend it was a front-row spot and I’d say, “I always get front-row parking, thank you!” (energetic mindset action)

By doing all of that, I eventually reprogrammed my subconscious to believe that I always get front-row parking. So now, whenever I go places, I always get front-row parking.

And on the very rare occasion when that doesn’t happen, I don’t make a big deal of it, I just park and continue to reinforce my belief that I always get front-row parking. Simple.

You can use this same process of combining practical physical actions with energetic mindset actions to create ANYTHING you want to see in your reality. Anything!

Yes, it will take some time and you will have to work on it, but eventually it will become normal for you and once something is normal for you, that’s what will always show up. Over and over again.

Give it a try. You may just be surprised by the results.

 

Dream life or bust,

 

 

#DreamLifeOrBust #DailyThinkDifferent

P.S. Ready to learn how to combine practical physical actions with energetic mindset actions to create the writing life you’ve always dreamed of having? Then be sure to join us for Manifest Your Writing Dreams to Life, a 30-day workshop where I’ll be showing you how to do exactly that.

>> Details and sign up here: www.jenniferblanchard.net/manifest 

The C-Word That Makes Your Writing Goal A Done-Deal

The power of the mind is something I’ve been into since I was a kid. Back then I remember my mom saying that, “you can do anything you set your mind to.” And I really took that on and made it a core belief.

I can do anything I set my mind to.

It’s the core belief I’ve created my life from. It’s how I continue to create it.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have at your disposal to change your life. And when you create something in your mind, it has to show up in your physical reality.

You just have to feel like it’s already true. And you can feel that way by doing things like visualizing and writing your reality.

When you go there in your mind, you will go there in your reality.

Tony Robbins talked about this in his interview with online marketing powerhouses, Frank Kern, and John Reese. And the story he shared was of runner, Roger Bannister, the first man to run a 4-minute mile.

The story goes like this: Roger practiced running a 4-minute mile over and over again in his mind and then he finally achieved it in his physical reality. He was the first person to ever do this. Until he did this, it was believed to be impossible.

The funny thing is, after Bannister hit this seemingly impossible goal, within the next two years 37 other people also ran 4-minute miles.

Amazing, right? One person running a 4-minute mile was enough to inspire 37 other people to think they could do it too.

[Watch the video below…or if you’re in a hurry, watch from minute 15 on–that’s where the best stuff is.]

And what it all came down to, Robbins says in the video, is this: Certainty.

When you know the outcome or result you want is absolutely certain, you’ll take action. You’ll do the work. You’ll show up every day and grind.

But when you feel uncertain–aka: lacking faith in yourself–that’s when you’ll self-sabotage, make excuses and find reasons to avoid going all in or doing the work.

The way to fix uncertainty, is to go there in your mind. To make what you want to create for your writing life a done-deal by visualizing it and writing it into reality.

By not getting your mind in the game, one of two things will happen:

  1. You’ll never achieve the success you dream of having
  2. You’ll achieve (some of) the success you want, but you’ll be burnt out from how hard-won it was

Your mindset, writing habits (or lack of), fears, doubts, distractions, they will all get in the way. Your mind and habits can either work for you or work against you.

Wouldn’t you rather they work for you?

Because that’s the thing about success, it comes from the little things. It’s built from the things you do on a daily basis, not on the things you do once in a while.

So really think about that. And then ask yourself some questions:

  • What are my day-to-day habits like, both in my writing life and life, in general?
  • How productive am I with my writing on a daily/weekly basis?
  • Do I honestly feel like I’m making progress on my writing goals?
  • What areas of my writing life (and life in general) could stand to be improved?
  • Is my mind in the game?

If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to do things that most people aren’t willing to do. For example, I’ve been having crazy-amazing success with my books lately, BUT it’s because I’ve made a huge leap out of my comfort zone and am pushing myself to a level most people wouldn’t even consider (writing and publishing 9 books in one year).

I’m producing more writing than I ever have before. I’m making more progress and faster, than ever before. I’m seeing the results of all my hard work show up every day. But it’s because I’m doing things that other people aren’t willing to.

I’m writing my reality in my journal 2-3 times a day. I’m doing 4-minute visualization sessions 1-2 times a day. I’m being consistent. I’m writing my ass off. I’m putting a lot of books and writing out into the world.

When you’re willing to do the things others aren’t, when you’re willing to push yourself to the edge of where you’d normally push yourself, that’s when you’ll be successful. Because that’s what it takes. (And come to find out, the edge only has about 1% of writers hanging out at it.)

So I want you to really consider where you’re at right now in your writing life. Is it, truly where you want to be?

Or are you playing small? Hiding out? Acting and thinking totally out of alignment with the writer and author you dream of being?

It’s time to change that. To get yourself into alignment with the success you dream of. Because it’s out there and it’s yours for the taking.

It’s just like the 4-minute mile, if what you dream of doing has already been done by someone else, that means it’s totally possible for you to do it too (and it’s also possible for you to be the first one to do it).

You’ve got what it takes. Now own it.

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What’s one thing you can do today to stop playing small in your writing life? 

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