How To Ignore the Opinions of Others and Do What Works For You

One of the biggest reasons writers, artists and creators don’t go after their dreams is because of what other people might think or say. The fear of judgment and ridicule. The fear of having to hear someone else’s negative opinion.
 
It can be very hard to know that your family and the people you respect don’t agree with what you’re doing or have the opinion that you shouldn’t be doing it. It’s also hard to listen to people give you advice when you’re not asking for it.
 
Because everyone’s got an opinion. And many of them feel the need to share that opinion with you. Even when you don’t really want it.
 
Yes, there are times when it’s nice to have someone else’s opinion or advice. I’m constantly turning to my mentors and accountability buddies for opinions and support.
 
But I always get the final say. And regardless of rules or expectations, I never do anything that doesn’t feel good to me.
 

When to Listen to the Opinions of Others

 
So how do you know when you should listen to what someone else has to say? Here are some of the criteria I use:
 
> Is the person more successful than you are? Is the person giving you the opinion and advice more successful than you are? If they are, their opinion definitely has more weight then if they’re not. Someone who’s already been-there-done-that will be able to share things that only someone who’s been through it can share, and that kind of advice can shave years off your learning curve and help you achieve success faster.
 
> Do they have a result that you want? If the advice and opinions are coming from someone who has achieved the result you want for yourself, the advice is probably worth listening to. You may not be able to completely replicate how they achieved the result, but you’ll definitely get some tips and inside info that will help you along on your journey.
 
> Did you ask for the opinion? If you did, there’s probably a reason for it and you may want to consider listening.
 

When to Ignore the Opinion of Others 

 
On the flip side, here’s when you should ignore the opinions or advice from others:
 
> They’re not more successful than you–if the person giving the advice or opinion isn’t more successful than you are, you can feel free to ignore everything they’ve said.
 
> They don’t have a result that you want–if the person hasn’t achieved something that you want to achieve, there’s no reason to listen.
 
> They’re not living their dream–this is really important because I see so many writers and creators listening to the opinions of people who aren’t living their dreams and are just numbing themselves out with food and TV and other BS. People like that will try to hold you back and keep you playing small because you going after your dream triggers them. And they don’t like that. (It’s my belief we’re supposed to trigger people and get triggered by people–that’s how we all learn and grow.)
 
Now these are not hard-and-fast “rules” for how to ignore people’s opinions. There are always exceptions where someone who doesn’t fit the criteria will give you an opinion or piece of advice that feels good to you and in that case, it may be worth listening to.
 
Only you can know for sure which opinions and advice feels good to you. And only taking action on those good-feeling opinions and advice can help you figure out if it will work for you or not.
 
But once you find what works best for you, keep on doing it. Tweak it when necessary, but stay focused on doing you.
 
Because if you want to create success on your terms, that’s what it’s gonna take–being fully who you are and continuing to step into the identity of who you dream of being.
 
Dream life or bust,
 
 
#DreamLifeOrBust #DailyThinkDifferent
 

P.S. If you’re a blogger, listen up! I’ve got something awesome for you… Blog to Book: an interactive 2-hour workshop where you’ll turn your blog posts into a book that you can publish–happening this Saturday, April 29 at Noon EDT.

 
This isn’t a sit there and learn something kind of workshop, it’s a take action right then and there workshop where you’ll actually start building your book during the live workshop. And if you follow through, you could have your blog transformed into a published book by the end of next week!
 

How Much Longer Are You Going to Wait for This?

I keep thinking about purpose and what I really want to be saying with my writing that I haven’t allowed myself to fully say before. And what I want to say, is this… (brace yourself):
 
It’s time to wake the fuck up. It’s time to STOP conforming and living other peoples’ standards and rules. It’s time to STOP worrying about what people think and just go after your dreams.
 
It’s time to stop working BS jobs and walking on eggshells and only partially being who you are. You deserve better and your gifts and purpose deserves to be let out.
 
Why do you think you were born with these talents and gifts? Because you’re meant to use them. You’re meant to create a life around them.
 
You weren’t born to live someone else’s idea of what life is “supposed to” be about. Fuck that shit!
 
You’re born to do what you love and live the life of your dreams.
 
You weren’t born to conform or live on someone else’s terms. And yes, I know you like predictability and certainty, but what the fuck is certain about what you’re doing right now?
 
Working a job you don’t love and don’t really care about–even if you happen to be good at it. If they decide tomorrow that they no longer need you, you’re out on your ass. Then what? Find another BS job where you’ll sit there all day and think about what you REALLY want to be doing?
 
That creative thing you’ve always been good at. Maybe even something you’d consider to be a god-given talent. That writing. Singing. Dancing. Building. Painting. Drawing. Or maybe even all of the above, as you’re multi-passionate and good at quite a few things.
 
And yet there you sit. Wasting away doing stuff you don’t love to please people who never lived their dream and just spent their lives people-pleasing.
 
Imagine instead being able to control your day and what you spent it doing. What if you got to wake up every morning and do something you love and that you actually care about? Imagine what that life would look like. Really think about it for a second.
 
And now admit it–you’re already thinking about this all day long while you’re doing the thing you do that gives you predictable income and a mediocre life that makes you feel dead inside.
 
Sure, there are parts that make you feel happy–your family and friends, and the stuff you do for fun on the weekends and when you’re granted permission to take vacation days.
 
But inside you’re dying–a little more every day. And that feeling shows up in your life in ways you’re not even yet conscious of. You probably call it anxiety or stress or heartburn or insomnia or being overweight.
 
But the truth is, the reason that stuff has manifested in your life is because you’re not letting out what’s really inside–the dreams and desires and talents and the way you really feel and what you really think.
 
You’re walking on eggshells and people-pleasing and living someone else’s life or the life someone else told you that you should live.
 
Ignoring your dreams. Pushing away your desires. Stuffing them down with junk food and TV and over-the-counter remedies that help you feel numb to what’s inside.
 
Because if you can’t feel it, then it’s not really there, right? And yet day after day, there it is. Nagging you and begging you to make a different choice.
 
A choice to STOP caring what other people think and instead ask yourself what YOU really think and then having the courage to go live it.
 
Do you really want to wake up every day and allow you life to be controlled and dictated by someone else? Do you really want to keep telling yourself you’ll go after your dreams “one day” while continuing to spend 8+ hours a day 5+ days a week doing something you could give a fuck less about?
 
Or do you want to live the life you’ve always dreamed about? The one you know you really want and could actually have if you were brave enough to let go of the bullshit that’s keeping you on the hamster wheel of “one day.”
 
One day I’ll live my dream. One day I’ll do that creative thing I’m so damn good at. One day I’ll stop being afraid and realize that the only certainty in life comes from being exactly who you are and doing what you love and sharing the talents and gifts that you were born with.
 
But what if “one day” never comes?
 
Are you OK leaving this world knowing you didn’t do what you came here to do? Do you think you’ll lay on your death bed and be so grateful that you lived the life your family or society told you that you should live, instead of living on your terms and doing what you love to do?
 
It’s cool if you would be, I guess. But you know what I think? I think that scares the fuck out of you. I think you’re scared of having regrets and wishing you’d stopped caring what people think and lived your dreams.
 
And yet there you sit, doing nothing about it. Messing around here and there doing that thing you love, but never making it the priority and habit that it deserves to be. Dreaming, but rarely doing.
 
And the days and weeks and months and years roll on and you just keep telling yourself “one day.” One day. One day. ONE DAY.
 
And on you go.
 
But what if you decided right now that TODAY was that one day? What if you started to do those things you love and those things you were born to do, every single day? What then?
 
I’ll tell you what then.
 
Then you’d be living the life you dream of. Then you’d get braver and more confident in doing what you love. Then you’d feel FREE inside and you’d no longer need to numb yourself.
 
Then you’d be sharing your gifts and talents with the world. Then you’d be living a life of purpose and intention. Then you’d be being exactly who you are and who you want to be and doing what you love and saying what you think and not caring about what anyone else thinks or wants for your life except you.
 
Then you’d be happy and fulfilled. And then you’d be on your death bed feeling grateful for and looking back on the day you finally decided TODAY was one day and that you didn’t have to know the full picture or even the next step in order to just START.
 
You can make that decision right now, TODAY. To think for yourself. To do what you love. To not care about anyone elses’ opinion. And the rest, as they say, will be history.
 
Dream life or bust,
 
 
#DreamLifeOrBust #DailyThinkDifferent
 

P.S. If you’re ready to do what you love and create a daily habit around it, be sure to check out the recording of my Writing Life Rehab workshop. It’s available until 11:59 p.m. EDT tonight for the same price as the live workshop (price doubles at midnight!!).

 

The #1 Question You Need to Ask Yourself If You Want to Be More Productive

I’m currently on the road–I drove with my husband and dog from NY where I live at the moment to Austin where I’ll be moving in a couple months. And it’s a 24-hour drive that we did straight through, no stopping to sleep.
 
Most people would find this situation to be inconvenient and wouldn’t worry too much about whether or not they’re being productive and getting stuff done.
 
But productivity is always on my mind. Mostly because I’m a productivity nerd, but also because I have BIG HUGE goals for my writing and my life and so I’m always thinking about how to get more stuff done.
 
I often hear writers say it’s impossible to get anything done when you’re traveling. And I used to agree with that. I used to buy into the belief that inconvenience is a huge problem and not worth pushing through on.
 
But that was the old me. The me I am now and the me I’m stepping into being knows that nothing is ever really convenient. And you’re either committed to getting the results… or you’re not.
 
So even though we were driving in the car for an entire day on Monday, I still got my blog post written and posted, and I still did my daily Live with Jen B. livestream on Facebook while we were stopped for gas.
 
Was it convenient to write a blog post on my phone? Hell no! Was it convenient to do a livestream late at night, at a gas station, when I’d been driving all day and was pretty exhausted? Hell no!
 
But I did it anyhow.
 
Why? Because that’s what it means to be UNSTOPPABLE. That’s what it means to not let anything get in the way of you and your goals.
 
Habits are only habits because you do them daily. If you don’t, then they’re not really habits. This year I’ve committed to building a habit around doing what matters and doing it daily. And what matters is my daily blog post, my daily livestream, my journaling and mindset work, and writing my books and screenplays.
 
When you know what matters and you’re committed to getting the results you’re after, inconveniece makes no difference. You just figure it out and do the best you can.

 

But there’s also a question you can ask yourself anytime you know you need to (or want to) do something, but you don’t think you have the time or the capacity to. And that question is… how can I make this work anyhow?

 
That’s the questions that’s been on my mind for the past three days as we’ve been on our trip and I’ve tried to continue my daily habits of doing what matters. (I even got up super early this morning so I could write this blog post before we have to get our day started!)
 
No, I haven’t been perfect with my daily habits since we’ve been on the road. But I have gotten all the most important stuff done each day. And it comes from asking that question… how can I make this work anyhow?
 
I asked myself that when I was riding in the car on Monday and thinking about how I’d do my livestream for the day. And the answer that came to me was, just do it at the next gas station you stop at.
 
No, it wasn’t the in-depth livestream I usually do, it was a two-and-a-half minute video where I shared this important question… how can I make this work anyhow? But the point is, I did it.
 
Even though it wasn’t at all convenient. Even though I was exhausted from driving and not sleeping much. Even though I could have easily not done it and no one would’ve given me a hard time about it because I was traveling.
 
But the definition of unstoppable is impossible to stop. No. Matter. What.
 
I see so many writers complaining about inconvenience and not having enough time. They’re too busy. Too stressed out. Too tired. They have too much other stuff to do. They have to work a day job. They’re gonna be on the road for a couple weeks. They’re [insert whatever excuse here].
 
Because that’s what those complaints are… EXCUSES. Yes, they might be true and valid, but they’re stil costing you the success you dream of.
 
So if you want to achieve more and really step into being the writer and author you see yourself as and that you dream of being, next time you feel a complaint or an excuse coming on that will stop you from doing your writing, choose to instead ask yourself, how can I make this work anyhow?
 
And then whatever answer comes up, act on it.
 
Sure, it takes discipline to not only ask the question but also to answer it and then act on it, but if you want to be a successful author who achieves everything you dream of and more, that’s what it’s gonna take.
 
You’re gonna have to push through and do the writing, even when it’s not convenient and you’re tired and you don’t have time. Otherwise you can hang your hat up right now, because you’ll never get where you want to go.
 
Harsh? Maybe. But it’s true. And that was a reality I had to face in my own writing life. I had to get really honest with myself and look at the facts… if I don’t step up and do what I have to do, I’ll never achieve my BIG writing goals.
 
And I don’t know about you, but I’m NOT OK with that!
 
I’m not OK with not letting my stories out. I’m not OK with allowing my dreams to die a slow death inside me. I’m not OK with not achieving what I came here for.
 
And to be totally honest, NOT living my purpose and NOT achieving my BIG writing dreams scares the shit out of me. The idea of dying with my stories and my ideas and messages and light still inside me scares me more than resistance and procrastination and excuses and inconvenience and being tired and not having enough time ever could.
 
Morbid? Maybe. But sometimes it takes looking at things from a morbid angle to finally wake you up to the fact that not only have you not been fully living your purpose, but you’re also not doing the work to achieve your goals, which means they’re never gonna happen.
 
No one can bring your dream life to reality except you. No one. Yes, others can support you and help you along the way and the Universe has your back, but you are ultimately responsible for taking control of your writing life.
 
So next time you find yourself ready to make an excuse for not doing your writing, I highly recommend you instead ask yourself, “how can I make this work anyhow? And then immediately act on whatever answer comes up.
 
Pockets of time. Doing what you can when you can. Prioritizing what matters and committing to getting it done daily.
 
That’s what it takes to make progress and achieve your dreams.
 
Write with a purpose, live with intention,
 
 
#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust
 

P.S. The Writing Life Rehab workshop is happening this Saturday, April 22 at 2 p.m. EST. If you’re ready to STOP making excuses and STEP INTO the writing life you’ve been dreaming of, you do not want to miss this!!

 
And there’s still five spots left to get in for the KILLER Top 15 Bonus… a FREE copy of my signature program, Write Your Damn Novel (a $297 value).
 

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How To Rehab Your Writing Life in 5 Steps

I spend a lot of time with writers and authors. And one of the biggest differences I see between a pro author who has published books and an amateur or hobbyist writer who dreams of being published is what their writing lives look like.

A pro author’s writing life sets them up for success. They have habits and commitment and systems for getting shit done. And they do what it takes no matter what.

Whereas an amateur writer’s writing life is actually sabotaging them. Often they make excuses and let life chaos and other nonsense stop them from doing the work.

The truth is you can shift your writing life SO quickly if you just set yourself up for success. Here are 5 ways to do that:

1. Acknowledge and Accept Where You Are

Before you can make changes–real changes that stick–you need to accept where you are right now. And accept it without judgement or giving yourself a hard time.

The thing I often find is that writers get so caught up in NOT doing the writing and not being consistent. They’ll place blame and feel guilty and worry that they’ll never achieve their goals.

And all that does is bring on more of the same.

But when you accept where you are and don’t judge it or make a big deal about it, you’re in a much better position to make changes. Say it with me now…”up until now I haven’t taken my writing seriously but from this day forward that all changes.”

2. Figure Out What Matters to You

This is super important. You have to make sure you’re focusing on and doing the writing that you actually care about and that matters to you.

I know that may sound silly, but you have no idea how many writers I see “shoulding” themselves into writing novels when they don’t really want to or writing blog posts when they’re just not that into it. But someone along their writing journey once told them they should be doing that stuff, so they are.

Problem is they don’t really care about it. And so they procrastinate and make excuses and find ways to keep putting the writing off.

If you’re not fueled by the writing you’re doing, stop doing it and find the writing that really matters to you. I love writing fiction and always saw myself as a novelist but now that I’m two novels deep, I’m feeling much more pulled to write screenplays. I’m happy that I’ve learned and mastered craft all these years because it will make my novelist-to-screenwriter transition much easier.

I could’ve spent year shoulding myself into writing more novels. And I probably will still write novels too. But I’m finally allowing myself to try other types of writing that I’m feeling pulled to try.

When you actually care about the writing you’re doing, you’re much less likely to put it off for other things. And you’ll show up to the page excited and inspired and ready to get started.

3. Make Space for What Matters

Now that you’re clear on the writing that actually matters to you, you have to make space for it. Yes, that means you have to look at your life currently and where you’re spending your time each day.

If you’re not sure, grab a notebook and spend the next couple of days tracking how you spend your time (you don’t have to do this for long, a couple days should be enough).

I guarantee you’ll see a lot of stuff that you do on a daily basis that is far less of a priority than your writing. So why exactly are you putting that stuff ahead of your writing?

Answer: because you think you’re supposed to. But the truth is you’re not. You’re supposed to do what matters to you and do it daily.

When you ignore your writing or put it off for other stuff that doesn’t really matter or is less important to you, that’s when life loses its joy and purpose. Unhappiness, resentment, depression, anger… they’re often side effects of not doing your soul work. In this case, that would be your writing.

If you feel that way–that writing is your soul work–then you must make space for it in your day.

Notice I said MAKE space not FIND space. Find implies you don’t currently have enough space which isn’t true. You have space, you’re just not using it right.

Make implies that you’re intentionally turning something into a priority. And priorities always get done.

Imagine if brushing your teeth every day wasn’t a priority! Of course you can’t imagine that because you always make time for it. Otherwise you’d have no teeth left to eat with or smile with.

Make your writing as much of a priority as brushing your teeth and your entire life will change.

4. Ruthlessly Kill Shit that Doesn’t Matter

I used to watch TV while eating my breakfast. I used to spend two+ hours on Sundays cleaning and tidying up my apartment. And both of those things used to get in the way of doing my writing.

Now I won’t even turn the TV on if I haven’t done my writing. Now I wouldn’t even consider spending two hours cleaning if I haven’t worked on my novel or written my blog post.

Why? Because I made the decision to kill off anything that doesn’t really matter to me and that just gets in the way of my productivity.

Yes, it takes discipline to do this. But I believe that discipline creates freedom.

I do my writing every day first thing in the morning before I do anything else. Because I do this, I get it done for the day and it’s off my mind. And magically I still find time to watch TV and to clean my apartment.

Do what matters. Kill off anything that doesn’t.

5. Do Your Writing Daily

Yes, I’m telling you to write every single day. No matter what. Just do your writing.

You want to feel better and be happier and have a more freedom-filled life? Then stop putting off your writing. Period.

Write for 15 minutes. Make notes for your story while you drink your coffee in the morning. Jot down a new scene on your phone while the kids are playing soccer.

Use the little pockets of time that you have available to you. If you do this daily, it will add up.

Rehabbing your writing life is pretty simple. It just requires you to be honest with yourself about what you’ve been doing up to this point, get clear on what actually matters, and then committing to making time for what matters every day.

Write with a purpose, live with intention,

 

 

 

#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust 

P.S. If you’re ready to dive in and make massive changes and shifts in your writing life, so you can be more productive, more fulfilled and make progress on your writing goals, be sure to check out my upcoming workshop–the Writing Life Rehab Masterclass. It’s happening this Saturday April 22 at 2 pm EST (and will be fully recorded).

And because I want you to step up and take massive action, I’ve included an INSANELY AWESOME fast-action bonus for the first 15 people who sign up… a FREE copy of my signature program, Write Your Damn Novel: a self-paced eCourse for emerging novelists who want to write better stories.

But hurry… those spots are going fast!! Less than 10 remain…

>> Details and sign up here

You Can Create Anything You Want When You Believe You Can (And With This Process…)

A few years ago I decided that I wanted to get front-row parking spots. Now I have no problem parking in the back and walking. Sometimes I park far back, especially on nice days, just to get some more exercise.
 
But I also thought it would be fun to have the option–to know that a front-row spot was available, even if I didn’t want it.
 
So I decided to create a belief that I always get front-row parking spots. Because that’s all it takes to see what you want show up in your reality; you have to believe it.
 
Here’s the breakdown of how I created the belief that I always get front-row parking spots, which is not just a belief I now have, but it has also come true in my life.
 
Anytime I go to the store or out to dinner or whatever, I always get a close spot. Sometimes I don’t take it or I don’t feel like waiting a minute for the person who’s pulling out, so I just park wherever and walk.
 
But the point is, I now have the option. And that came from creating the belief that I always get front-row parking spots.
 
And the cool part is, this process works with ANYTHING that you want, whether it’s front-row parking or a six-figure book deal (I haven’t tried it for that yet, but maybe I will soon!!).
 

1. Decide What You Want

 
The first step to creating anything is knowing what it is that you want. You have to get really clear on it, otherwise you won’t be able to create it exactly as you want it.
 
Grab your journal or notebook and freestyle-write in it for 10-15 minutes, getting really clear on what you want. Dig deep here and write it all out.
 
After you’ve finished, choose one thing that you’re going to start with. Yes, you can install multiple beliefs all at once if you want to, but that can take more time because you’re spreading your focus out.
 
If you choose one new belief to focus on at a time, you can program it into yourself faster and make it show up in your reality faster too.
 
Once you know what the one new belief is that you want to create, write a very specific, concise sentence that feels good to you and that declares the new belief you’re now choosing to create.
 
For example, “I always get front-row parking.” Simple, to the point and powerfully declares what I want.
 
Action Step #1: Get clear on one new belief you’d like to create for yourself. Write a specific, concise belief statement that feels good to you and powerfully declares what you want.
 

2. Tell Yourself How You Want It to Be

 
The next thing I did was started telling myself that I always get front-row spots. When I’d be driving to the store or going out to eat, even on days when I knew it would busy, I’d just tell myself that I always get front-row parking spots.
 
Sometimes I’d get to the store or restaurant and there wouldn’t be any front-row spots. But I’d ignore that, park my car wherever and keep telling myself that I always get front-row parking spots.
 
And sometimes I’d get there and there would be a front-row spot open and waiting for me, or someone would be just about to pull out and if I waited a couple minutes I could have their spot right up front.
 
The most important thing is that you don’t ever look around and say, “it’s not working.” Even when it isn’t working.
 
If I didn’t get a front-row spot, I didn’t say that it wasn’t working, because I knew I was working on it, and that soon it would be working. So I just chose to believe that it was working, even when my physical reality said it wasn’t.
 
Action Step #2: When you’re out and about living your life, tell yourself the new belief over and over again. Say it out loud, say it in your head, write it down every morning in your journaling, repeat it as much and as often as you can (this is why I recommend doing one new belief at a time, because more than that can get overwhelming to keep track of).
 

3. Bring On the Gratitude

 
Whenever I’d get to the store or restaurant and actually got a front-row spot, I’d always say, “thank you Universe!” as I was parking. This is key, because being grateful for what you have brings you more.
 
So anytime your new belief actually works and you see evidence of it in your reality, be sure to acknowledge it and say “thank you Universe.” Acknowledging it means you’re paying attention and putting your focus on it. And whatever you focus on expands.
 
Action Step #3: Say “thank you” in the moment, when your new belief or evidence of your new belief actually shows up in your reality. And also be grateful in general, for all the good things going on in your life. Gratitude is a powerful tool for changing your life.
 

4. See It As Normal

 
Eventually I could feel the belief that I always get front-row parking starting to become the norm for me, meaning I’d go to the store or restaurant and more times than not, there’d be a front-row parking spot. That means I’ve normalized getting front-row parking.
 
And what’s normal for you is what will always show up. Expectation is a huge part of the manifesting process. So once you’ve seen enough evidence of your new belief happening in your real life, it’s time to start accepting that belief is normal for you.
 
Now when I get a front-row spot, I say, “of course! Thank you! More please!” This is a combination of gratitude and expectation.
 
By saying “of course” I’m acknowleding that this is normal for me. Saying “thank you” is bringing gratitude for what I have into the mix, and “more please” is telling the Universe that I want more of that exact thing.
 
“Of course! Thank you! More please!” is how you’ll make your new belief normal for you. (Shout out to my amazing friend and client, Maru Iabichela, who taught this statement to me!)
 
Action Step #4: As you continue to experience your new belief or see evidence of it show up in your life, start to mix into your gratitude statements phrases that acknowledge this new belief is now normal for you. Of course! Thank you! More please!
 

5. Keep Going

 
At this point I’d say the belief that I always get front-row parking is pretty engrained in me. But I still continue to reaffirm it every time I’m parking my car.
 
Because it never hurts to remind yourself how good you have it, and it just continues to program that belief into your subconscious mind.
 
Repetition is everything.
 
Action Step #5: Continue to collect evidence of your new belief and reaffirm it as much as possible.
 
Once you feel like your new belief is programmed enough that it’s now real, you can go through this same process with another new belief that you want to create.
 
Again, you can definitely work on multiple beliefs at one time. I do this every day in my journaling and mindset work when I write out my reality and how I want things to be in every area of my life and business. But I also have a few beliefs I’m actively focused on programming into myself.
 
Because a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. And if you can change the way you’re thinking, then you can change what you believe.
 
Aligning your beliefs with the life and success you dream of having is what’s going to bring it to reality for you.
 
Write with a purpose, live with intention,
 
 
#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust
 
P.S. The doors to the Bestselling Author Mastermind are CLOSING Sunday April 16 at 11:59 p.m. EST!! If you want an inspiring, motivating, empowering, supportive environment to become the novelist and author you dream of being, there’s no better place for you. AND as a member, you get FREE access to all of my workshops and digital products that cost $100 or less (and 50% off the ones that cost more than $100).
 
 

If You Never Decide and Then Take Action, You’ll Spin Your Wheels and Stay In the Same Place

A year ago this month I was writing what would go on to become my first Amazon best selling book: Align Your Writing Habits to Success. I had no idea that was going to happen with that book. It wasn’t even a thought in my mind.

Because the only thing I was thinking about was the decision I just made to become a best selling author on Amazon in 2016 and the action I was taking next, which was to write and publish more books.

And that’s where Align Your Writing Habits to Success came in. After making the decision to become a best selling Amazon author and to write and publish more books, I received a Divine Download to take the content from the free 30-day writing habits challenge I created and turn it into an eBook.

So I did it. I took action and a few weeks later, Align Your Writing Habits to Success debuted on Amazon, hit #1 in the Authorship category and then stayed in the top 6 for a couple months.

In hindsight I can see the reason why this all happened as quickly as it did… because I decided that it would and then I took action.

Deciding is a HUGE part of achieving your goal. In fact, I can see now that not fully deciding and then taking action is a big part of why I spun my wheels in my writing life for so many years.

Why?

Because deciding cuts off all other options. Deciding says THIS IS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. Deciding means you’re putting your full belief in the goal you’re going after.

You may not know how it’s going to happen or when, but you can absolutely decide that it will happen and the details will work themselves out. But to do this requires something most people have a very hard time with (myself included at times)… Trust.

You must KNOW in your heart and soul that you are MEANT for whatever you want to achieve. You must FEEL IT. But even with that level of belief in yourself and in your goal, you must also have TRUST and FAITH in the Universe to deliver what you’re asking for, so long as you do your part (your part = deciding and then taking action).

The trust component to creating success is so important! And yet it often gets overlooked. You’ve probably experienced this first-hand. (I know I have!)

You want something. You want it bad. You dream about it at night and think about it all day long. It’s yours.

Except it’s not showing up in your reality. You’re not actually experiencing it or holding it in your hands. It’s not real in your world.

And you wonder why.

You’re doing the work. You’re showing up pretty consistently. You thought you were making some progress. And yet… nothing.

What it all comes down to, is trust.

If you’re feeling impatient or if you’re looking around at your reality and saying, “it’s not working” or “it’s not showing up,” then you’re not trusting. You’re actually doing the opposite of trusting.

You’re stuck in lack thinking and you’re afraid.

You’re looking around and noticing the lack of the thing you’re asking for, rather than trusting that you placed your order and you’re doing the work, which means what you’re asking for will eventually show up. Not having patience means you’re afraid that what you want won’t actually happen or that you’re not meant for it or that someone else may beat you to it (impossible, by the way, as there are things that only you are meant for and could ever do).

And that’s why deciding is such a huge part of creating what you want.

Because without deciding that it’s DONE and that it’s YOURS and no one and nothing in the world can take it away from you–even if you don’t physically see it in your reality or hold it in your hands right this minute–you’ll just continue to be impatient and continue to look around and say, “this isn’t working.”

And that’s where you’ll stay. Stuck and spinning your wheels.

Because the truth is, it’s always whatever you decide that it is.

So if you decide it’s not working or you’re not meant for it, well, guess what? That’s exactly what you’re going to experience.

But when you decide that it’s yours–even if you don’t have it yet–and when you feel it on every level of your being, that’s when it will come to you. And not a minute before.

But once you get there, once you get to making that decision and having that infinite trust and feeling in your soul that it’s yours and its on its way to you, it will show up so fast your head might actually spin.

There was less than a month between when I fully decided I was going to be a best selling author in 2016 and when it actually happened.

A month! After years and years of not allowing myself to want it because I had no idea how I’d make it happen, it happened. Within a month of deciding.

That’s how powerful deciding and then taking action can be when you let it.

So, what will you decide?

Write with a purpose, live with intention,

 

 

 

#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust

P.S. It’s the FINAL DAYS to join the Bestselling Author Mastermind, my high-level community and mentorship group for multi-passionate authors who want to write better stories and create the habits, craft expertise, mindset, consistency and follow-through of a bestselling author.

As a member you get:

> 3x a week live-virtual work sessions where we come together as a group and get our writing/writing projects done

> A monthly live-virtual workshop or group challenge –you either get access to a workshop I’m doing that month or I run a challenge inside the BAM group to get everyone motivated and taking action

> 3x a week accountability check ins, plus monthly goal setting and check ins

> Unlimited access to Jennifer in the private BAM Facebook group

> A monthly story deconstruction, and training in Revision, Publishing, Mindset and Productivity

> FREE access to all of Jennifer’s workshopsand digital products that cost $100 or less

>> Join us here

“Why Would Anyone Care?” <---The Voice That Keeps You Playing Small

This morning I had a Divine Download for something really cool to create. I got excited about it and started making a whole page of notes for how I could do it and what it would be called.
 
And then that voice came up; that voice that comes up everytime I’m feeling good and clear and certain about what I’m doing…
 
“Why would anyone care? What makes you think you’re so damn special and that anyone would want to follow you or pay attention to you?”
 
That voice has shut down so many ideas and projects over the years. In my life and other peoples’ lives (maybe you can relate?).
 
Because why would anyone care, right? What makes you think any of your ideas are even valid or important or worth putting out into the world? What makes you think you’re good enough to do that or be that or have that?
 
I spent most of my life feeling not good enough. Bullied throughout my childhood and high school years, I just wanted to blend into the crowd and not stand out. I didn’t want people to pay attention to me, because all the bullying over the years programmed me to believe that standing out and being seen was a bad thing.
 
I still battle with the feeling not good enough thing, more often than I’d like to. But I’ve reprogrammed my beliefs around what it means to stand out and be seen.
 
Now I know that standing out and being seen means being able to help more people and make a bigger impact. It means getting my ideas, my stories, my message and my creations out in front of more people.
 
Even if you feel not good enough at times, that doesn’t at all mean your ideas aren’t valid or important or worth putting out in the world. It just means you’ve got subconscious programming going on that’s telling you your ideas aren’t valid or important or worth putting out there and you’re currently accepting those beliefs as true.
 
But here’s the thing… you weren’t born with those beliefs or that programming! You didn’t come into the world feeling not good enough or thinking your ideas weren’t valid or worth putting out there. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
 
You were born feeling worthy. You were born feeling so much love for yourself and for everyone and everything around you. You were born with loads of creative ideas and a brilliant imagination that can create anything you want and more. You were born with a gift(s) that’s meant to be shared with the world.
 
THAT is who you really are. THAT is your TRUE NATURE.
 
It’s society and the media and the people around us and our life experiences that have programmed our true nature out of us.
 
When you were a kid, if you had an idea or wanted to create something, you just did it. You didn’t think about it. You didn’t agonize over whether or not it was worthy or worth putting out. You just drew the damn picture and made your mom put it on the fridge.
 
But now because of all the other voices around you, those ridiculous, unhelpful, negative thoughts come up… “why would anyone care? What makes me think this idea is any good? If I put it out there no one will pay attention to it anyhow. The world doesn’t need another book. I should probably just quit and go watch Netflix for the rest of my life.”
 
And that shit just isn’t necessary.
 
The only voice, the only opinion, the only thing that matters is YOU. What you think, what you feel, what you believe. That’s it.
 
If someone doesn’t like it, too fucking bad (or as my mom would say, TFB; she was using acronyms long before they became the “cool” thing).
 
So when an idea like the one I got this morning hits me, I run with it. Even with that voice popping up that says, “why would anyone care?” I’ve made it a core value in my writing business to act on Divine Downloads. (Notice I didn’t say question or judge or analyze… I said ACT!)
 
There’s a huge element of creativity that’s often forgotten about… the element of trust. You must have infinite trust that whatever idea or story came to you chose you for a reason and that it not only deserves your attention and effort, but it also deserves to be finished and put out into the world.
 
When I run with a Divine Download idea, I never know what’s going to happen. I never know how it’s going to turn out or how it will be received by my audience.
 
But I do the work, I finish it and I put it out there anyhow.
 
It’s not up to me to judge the idea. That’s not my job. My job is to channel the idea, the message, the story and be the creator who brings it to life in the physical world.
 
That is how I’m able to create so much stuff on a consistent basis. Because I no longer judge it. I no longer worry or criticize. I just do the work, put it out there and move on to the next thing.
 
This may not seem like a rational way to operate, and most of my business mentors have told me that I need to slow down and do less. But I can’t. Because slowing down and doing less means fewer creations and ideas and stories make it out into the world.
 
And I have way too many to let them sit inside my head and die a slow death.
 
So I push on. I create and I write and I unleash my creativity. And when the voices of negativity pop up, I deal with them and push on. And when the doubt and the fear pops up, I deal with it and then push on. And when [insert distraction or trigger] pops up, I deal with it and then PUSH ON.
 
That shit used to stop me. It used to make me procrastinate and resist doing the work and especially finishing. But that was also back when I used to question the speed at which I create and the amount of stuff I put out into the world on a daily, weekly, monthly basis.
 
Now I don’t question. I just act.
 
Do the work. Put it out there. Repeat.
 
And when it really comes down to it, the only thing that can actually stop you and keep you playing small and listening to those BS voices is YOU.
 
Write with a purpose, live with intention,
 
 
#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust

 

P.S. If you’re ready to STOP playing small and START unleashing the stories and ideas and creations you have inside you, it’s time for you to join the Bestselling Author Mastermind–my high-level community and mentorship group for multi-passionate writers, authors and creators who want to create the habits, craft expertise, mindset, consistency and follow-through of a professional.
 

Doing the Wrong Things Will Drain You

So often people ask me how I’m able to get so much done in a single day. If you’ve been in my world for any amount of time you know at least one thing about me–that I’m a super high achiever and always have a million balls in the air all at once.

I’m cool with this. After years of fighting against it and trying to talk myself out of being this busy, I finally gave in and realized that I should do what feels right for me and screw what anyone else thinks.

I’m not saying it’s easy to do all that I do or handle all that I handle. It’s not. I feel overwhelmed at times. But then I take a deep breath and dive back in.

I get warned about burnout all the time. I’ve been hearing, “you take on too much” my entire life. And I totally respect people’s opinion and concern for me. I appreciate it.

But I don’t believe in burnout.

Gasp! Did she just say she doesn’t believe in burn out? But what about this example or this example or this one of people burning out?

I’m not saying burnout doesn’t happen. It does. But only when you’re not in alignment and living on purpose.

Back when I was working my corporate day job, I was burned the fuck out. I hated my life. I was stressed all day long, I spent hours of my time complaining, it was hell. Keeping that charade up any longer than I did would’ve burned me out and totally killed my soul.

Which is why I got out.

It’s why I started focusing all of my time on doing things I actually cared about and that mattered to me. It’s why I sit here right now, in the middle of the day, writing this blog post, feeling totally motivated and focused and ready for more.

Because when you give your time and focus to the things you actually care about and that actually matter to you, there’s no possible way you can burn out. Doing what you love and what you care about FUELS YOUR SOUL.

It fuels you with motivation and excitement and joy. Who can get enough of that?

Or here’s a better question, who’s getting enough of that right now? Not many people.

There are days where I forget to eat until dinner time. I wake up, get into my morning routine and before I know it the clock says 4 p.m. and my stomach is growling. There are nights I stay up ’til 3 a.m. because I’m so in flow with my writing and creating I couldn’t possibly even consider sleeping yet.

And there’s no way to burn out on the things that fuel your soul, which means you can do them forever and never ever stop or want to stop. I will be a writer ’til the day I die. I will be taking my final breath and I’ll still be on my MacBook trying to get my last words written down.

It’s impossible to burn out on the things that bring you to life.

So the question all of this brings me to, is this… are you doing what really matters to you?

Right now, if you look at your life, are you doing the things that matter? Do you go to bed at night feeling like you gave it your all?

If you don’t, there’s a high probability that you’re not doing what matters. And that’s why you feel burned out or have low energy or are unmotivated.

Because spending your time doing the wrong things will DRAIN YOU.

It will make you resentful. It will kill your will to live. It will BURN YOU OUT. Eventually you’ll be a robot-human, living life on autopilot, and numbing out with food and TV and sleeping too much.

When I finish my morning routine, it’s usually midday and I feel motivated, ready to take on more and like I have all the time in the world. Because I’ve already done my soul work for the day. I’ve already done what needed to be done.

Everything else that gets done is just a bonus after that.

So take some time to really think about whether or not you’re really spending your time doing what matters to you. If you’re not, it’s time for a reality check, because burn out could be in your future if you don’t start doing what you actually care about.

I never worry about burn out becuase I know I can never burn out on being me and doing what I love.

Write with a purpose, live with intention,

 

 

#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust

P.S. Is it time you started doing what matters to you? If so, now’s the perfect time to join us in the Bestselling Author Mastermind, my high-level community and mentorship for multi-passionate writers who want to create the habiits, craft expertise, mindset, consistency and follow-through of a bestselling author.

As a member you get:

> 3x a week live-virtual work sessions where we come together as a group and get our writing/writing projects done

> A monthly live-virtual workshop or group challenge –you either get access to a workshop I’m doing that month or I run a challenge inside the BAM group to get everyone motivated and taking action

> 3x a week accountability check ins, plus monthly goal setting and check ins

> Unlimited access to Jennifer in the private BAM Facebook group

> A monthly story deconstruction, and training in Revision, Publishing, Mindset and Productivity

> FREE access to all of Jennifer’s workshopsand digital products that cost $100 or less

>> Join us here

Resolutions Are Made With Your Conscious Mind, BUT Change Must Happen At A Subconscious Level If You Want It To Stick

We’re a quarter of the way into the year already, which means if you made any resolutions in January, you’ve probably long since fallen off track or stopped doing them. This is when gyms are the emptiest, a few months into the year, when most people have thrown in the towel or are just ignoring the goal completely.
I spent years of my life saying I was going to step things up in my writing life that year and then a few months would go by and my motivation would wane and that would be it, for the most part. I’d still do some writing and other projects, but never the fiction that was calling to my soul.
Sound familiar?
You blame yourself and call it self-sabotage. You say you’re a procrastinator and worry that you’ll never achieve your BIG writing goals, because you’re barely achieving your small ones.
But what if there was something else going on? What if there was something happening behind the scenes that was sabotaging you…without you even realizing it?
Here’s the real reason resolutions and new habits and good-intentioned people fail to make lasting change: those changes are being made with the conscious mind, but change must happen at a subconscious level if you want it to stick.
Your conscious mind is your awareness in the present moment, whereas your subconscious mind is the autopilot mind that’s controlling your body functions and running whatever beliefs and thoughts you currently have installed as your programming.
Or to make it even clearer, I’ll borrow an analagy from my friend, Jenn Scalia… your subconscious mind is like your computer operating system, it runs everything, and your conscious mind is like the apps or software you have open on that operating system that you’re currently using.
So if you want to make changes, you can’t just do it on a conscious level. You also have to address your subconscious mind and reprogram it along with actively making changes in your physical reality with your conscious mind.
At least if you want the changes to stick.
So, how do you do this?
1. Make a list of all the old, negative, limiting, BS beliefs and thoughts you currently hold about yourself, your potential, your ability to achieve your goals, etc.
2. Flip all of these beliefs and thoughts into new, empowering beliefs and thoughts. For example, if one of the old thoughts is “I’m not good enough,” then the new empowering thought is “I am good enough.”
Be sure to also include new belief and thoughts related to the goals you want to achieve. For example, I am a New York Times Bestselling Author, I finish all of my novels with ease, I am a successful novelist, etc.
3. Program these new beliefs and thoughts into your subconscious mind. This step is super important. You don’t just want to be saying these things with your conscious mind, you need to get your subconscious mind to pick up on them too. There are a few ways to do this…
> Read your new beliefs and thoughts to yourself (or out loud) first thing in the morning as soon as you wake up (your subconscious mind will still be active if you do it immediately upon waking)
> Read them again immediately before you go to sleep (your subconscious mind is active in prep for sleep)
> Alternatively, you can write your new beliefs and thoughts out in a journal first thing upon waking and/or immediately before you sleep
> Repeat, repeat, repeat! Repetition is how you reprogram your subconscious mind; the more you repeat something, the more it will hear it and take it in as real and true
It’s awesome that you’ve decided to make a big change in your life. That’s really the first step to achieving what you want–you have to decide that you’re going to.
But then you also have to make the decision to reprogram your subconscious mind to be supportive of the changes you want to make. Otherwise you’ll just keep sabotaging yourself or you’ll continue the pattern of making some progress, but then relapsing back to where you were before.
It’s true that making changes can be a bit of a dance… two steps forward, three steps back, five steps forward, three steps back. But you can minimize the time it takes and see progress faster if you make a commitment to making changes in your physical reality and also making them in your subconscious mind.
Write with a purpose, live with intention,
#DailyThinkDifferent #DreamLifeOrBust

P.S. Doors to the Bestselling Author Mastermind are now OPEN!! If you’re ready to step into being the writer and author you’ve always dreamed of being… if you’re ready to FINISH… if you want to develop the habits, craft expertise, mindset, consistency and follow-through of a professional author, the BAM group is for you.

 
As a member you get:
 
> 3x a week live-virtual work sessions where we come together as a group and get our writing/writing projects done
 
> A monthly live-virtual workshop or group challenge –you either get access to a workshop I’m doing that month or I run a challenge inside the BAM group to get everyone motivated and taking action
 
> Daily accountability check ins
 
> Unlimited access to Jennifer in the private BAM Facebook group
 
> A monthly story deconstruction, and training in Revision, Publishing, Mindset and Productivity
 

> FREE access to all of Jennifer’s workshops and digital products that cost $100 or less