It’s been four days since I’ve written to you. I spent the last four days not doing anything–partially because of Resistance (damn you, Resistance!) but also because everyone is always saying that I need to “take a break” or “take some time off.” Because that’s what normal people do.
So I did. I gave it a try. And here’s what I have to say about it… NO.
The nothingness of binge-watching TV shows and avoiding all the things I feel called to say and write–it could go on forever and it does for most people. They get into a slump where the momentum of not doing is stronger than the momentum of getting shit done.
To be honest, I’ve felt totally lost the last four days. Like my life had no purpose and I was just drifting along aimlessly without an end in sight. I guess that’s what it means to be normal.
To “take a break” or a “vacation” or even just to “rest and relax.” But it’s not for me.
Writing and doing the stuff I do most days is all I really want to be doing. And maybe that’s anti-social and maybe I’m headed toward burn out. But I don’t think I am.
In fact, I KNOW I’m not.
Because the last four days of doing nothing made me feel burnt out and numb. I had no energy. I slept way too much. I felt sick and like I was wasting my life.
I honestly don’t know how people do it.
How do so many people avoid doing their soul work while aimlessly binging TV shows and eating junk and partying with friends or just sitting around resting? I don’t get it.
I felt totally fucking lost the last four days. I started to question everything I’d been doing. I felt anxious. I worried that this would be my life–a life of being normal–if I decided to buy into the bullshit about needing a break or taking time off.
Because here’s the thing–how do you take time off from being who you are?
How do you not do you and not do the things you feel called to do inside? How do you avoid your soul work and still feel alive? (Hint: you can’t.)
I don’t get it. Never have. Never will.
When I see people living without purpose, numbing themselves out with food and TV and other activities that don’t really make them happy, I wonder how they can live like that. How they can sustain a meaningless existance day-in-and-day out, without losing their minds.
Now I’m not saying don’t ever watch TV or take a day off or go on vacation. I like doing those things on occasion too. But only when I’m doing them with intention and purpose, because I’m choosing to do those things, not just doing them by daily default.
I felt like crap the last few days, and today, writing this, I feel better. More alive. More like myself. More like it should be.
My writing, my message, my art, my stories, my desire to better the world and myself, those are the things that get me out of bed in the morning. It’s the stuff that keeps me up ’til 2 a.m. most days because I just can’t stop.
It’s what keeps me creating and launching 2-3 times a month, pretty much every month. Because… purpose, flow and getting as many of my ideas, messages and projects out in the world as possible.
It’s what keeps me sane.
I don’t worry about being perfect or doing everything perfectly. People don’t want that anyhow. They want real and they want empowerment and they want motivation and to see someone who they feel is the next-level version of themselves killing it at life, because it inspires them to do them same.
To wake up and LIVE. To NOT be one of the normal people, the drones who numb themselves out to the soul work and to what really matters and what they’re really here on this planet for. To live a life of purpose.
My purpose made me $10k+ last month and it will continue to grow and expand so long as I continue to do and be me and continue to ignore all the stuff normal people say I should be doing and just follow the call of my heart and my soul.
What calls you? What’s pulling you from the inside? What’s bouncing around in there, dying to be let out?
Let it out. Answer the call. Do the soul work.
There is no other way.
Dream life or bust,