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You’ve Got To Throw Out “The Rules” and Write Them for Yourself

To me, living your dream life means being you, doing what you love, having freedom and living on your terms. To create that dream life, you must be willing to write your own rules.

And writing your own rules starts with digging up any old, limiting beliefs, especially unconscious ones, that are currently holding you back or keeping you stuck or creating a reality that you don’t want.

You may not think you have any limiting beliefs, but we all do. And many of them are unconscious, which means we’re sending these unconscious belief-signals out into the Universe every day… and that’s what’s coming back to us.

To figure out what unconscious beliefs you have, all you need to do is look around at your life and your current reality. What you see around you is what you’ve been unconsciously creating up ’til this point.

Here’s the hard part. Now you actually have to be brave enough to look around–and most importantly, look within–and put words to the unconscious beliefs you currently have. The good and the bad.

For example, a few years ago I made a realization: somehow everything always works out for me.

I’d be running late for work, but then I’d get there and my boss would be running even later and never found out I was late. I needed money for something unexpected and somehow the money would show up. I got to the restaurant for dinner and someone would be backing out and leaving their front-row spot, just as I was getting there.

From this I made the discovery that I have an unconscious belief (a GREAT one!) that everything always works out in my favor. Somehow over the course of my life, through things people told me and what I experienced, I created this belief. And it has served me very, very well in my life.

But what about when you find an unconscious belief that’s been wreaking havoc on your life?

For example, from a very young age, I was programmed with the belief that I’m not good enough. This came from various things that happened to me during my childhood–getting bulled by my older cousins who I looked up to, my parents’ divorce, bullying from other kids at my babysitter’s house and all through my school years. From those experiences, I created an unconscious belief that I wasn’t good enough.

And that belief was unconsciously creating my life. It kept me from trying out for parts that I wanted in the school plays, it made me pretend to be someone I’m not, and it made me self-sabotage when I did get an opportunity to shine.

Thankfully I had a whole bunch of other empowering beliefs that balanced out the bad ones, but until I was conscious of the fact I had a deep-seeded belief that I wasn’t good enough, it continued to create negativity in my reality.

Once I was fully conscious of it, I was able to do something about changing it. So I started to plant new beliefs in my mind, ones that actually support me in achieving my goals and the success that I want.

That’s what it means to write your own rules. You get to choose your beliefs that you hold, that you live by and that create your life. Because your beliefs, thoughts, perspective and actions are what has been creating your reality up to this point.

But if you want to create your dream life and have everything you’ve ever wanted, it starts with giving yourself permission to change the limiting beliefs–conscious and unconscious–that you’ve had programmed in you all these years, and also to drop and ignore anything you’ve been told to think or believe that doesn’t feel good to you.

Permission is everything here. Because until you fully give yourself permission you’ll never make the change. You’ll continue to operate your life from these beliefs, telling yourself that you “have to” because that’s what society says or what your mom says or what your spouse says or whatever you’re telling yourself.

I know it’s hard. It is. It really is.

Changing an entire belief system; shifting your entire perspective and all the thoughts you’ve had your whole life; it can be scary. Those old beliefs and old ways of being are very comfy. And it feels good to be comfy, kind of.

But not in the way that feeling good could feel if it was coming from a place of excitement and purpose, rather than a place of fear and comfort.

It’s been said that people only change out of necessity or severe pain. But you don’t have to wait ’til that point. You don’t have to get to the end of your rope before you do something different.

You can choose right now to be inspired into changing. To be motivated by possibiilty and empowered by new beliefs, thoughts and ways of being.

You can make this choice every single day, and you’ll have to, until it becomes a habit for you to think and believe this way.

A few years ago, I heard an Abraham-Hicks quote that stuck with me so much I painted it onto a canvas and hung it on the wall in my living room. And every day, I try to remember this quote. It’s absolutely life-changing. It was when I first heard it and it still is today, maybe even more so because I now understand success mindset even better now than I did back then.

And that quote, is… a belief is just a thought you keep thinking.

A belief is just a thought you keep thinking. A BELIEF is JUST A THOUGHT that you KEEP THINKING.

A belief is just a thought that YOU keep thinking.

Really take that one in. It will totally transform your entire belief system and your life along with it.

You hold the power. You get to decide. Life does not happen to you, you create it with your beliefs and your thoughts and your actions. Yes, bad stuff does happen sometimes. And that bad stuff is often unconsciously created by a limiting or negative belief you hold that, unfortuantely, you didn’t know about.

But the silver lining of the bad thing is that you can use it to identify any unconscious beliefs you do have, so you can shift them and create a new belief that supports you in creating the things you actually do want to have happen in your life.

You create your reality. You. No one else can create it for you. Your energy is always what attracts what you see in your reality.

And your energy starts with your beliefs.

Negative beliefs have a magnetism for negative thoughts, actions, situations and people. Whereas positive, empowering beliefs have a magnetism for positive thoughts, actions, situations and people.

That’s just how energy works.

So it’s your responsibility to guard your energy, to protect it and to feed it with positive, uplifting beliefs and thoughts that will support you in creating your dream life, whatever that may mean or look like for you.

Dream life or bust,

 

 

#DreamLifeOrBust #DailyThinkDifferent

P.S. Doors to my Writer’s Confidence Boost eCourse are opening later tonight!! And because confidence is SO important when it comes to achieving success as a writer and creator, I’m offering this at a ridiculous price that anyone can afford. Stay tuned for more details…

And if you’re not already on my email list, get on it right now so you’re the first to know when the Writer’s Confidence Boost eCourse is available. Go here to join my email list and get a free copy of my eBook, The Bestselling Author Mindset Formula: www.jenniferblanchard.net/newsletter

What Would You Need To Believe To See The Reality You Want To See?

That’s a question I ask myself A LOT. What would I need to believe to create the reality I want to see?

Because your thoughts and beliefs create your reality. 

So if you want to achieve something or have something show up in your life, you need to be directing your thoughts and beliefs toward that goal or that thing. And the more you do that, the more your brain will accept it as real until one day it actually will become real.

You’ll be able to see it, hear it, touch it, maybe even taste it and smell it (depending on what it is). It will have manifested in your life.

The more you give your time to directing your thoughts and beliefs, and focusing on the things you want to create, the easier and faster you’ll see these things show up. 

This whole ‘thoughts become things’ may seem crazy when you first hear it. It’s contradictory to everything you’ve been told about life and how the world works.

But even as contradictory as it sounds… there’s this weird feeling in you that, it may actually be true. Because when you hear it, your ears and your brain perks up. It resonates with you.

Or it might scare the fuck out of you.

Because the idea that you’re in control of what shows up in reality and that your beliefs and thoughts create the reality that you see around you… that puts a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.

You have to actually take control of yourself and your life. 

The whole ‘thoughts become things’ scares me at times, too. But I’ve practiced it enough now to know that it actually DOES work. And it’s INSANE at times when stuff shows up in your life after you’ve thought about it.

And the Universe is always giving you little signs and signals to tell you that what you’ve been thinking about and focusing on is showing up. I see signs of my dream life ALL the time.

Lately I’ve been writing in my journal that my novels get turned into movies. This is my ultimate dream for my fiction—to turn my novels and my stories into movies on the big screen, with big-name actors and actresses. And of course, I get to help with the screenplay and have a cameo in the movies 🙂

Now no one would know that I’ve been writing about this in my journal unless I told them, right? (I haven’t told anyone until right now.) And yet the other day, a girl in my free Facebook group posted the craziest message… she had a dream that she was on the movie set for my novel, SoundCheck. 

HOW CRAZY IS THAT??!!

OK, maybe that’s too woo-woo for you and you’ll brush it off as coincidence or random. It’s totally fine if you want to do that.

But here’s what I know: coincidence doesn’t exist. It’s not random when things happen that you’d usually call a coincidence. 

It’s a sign, a signal from the Universe that what you’re asking for is unfolding. All you have to do to continue seeing signs and signals, is to KEEP GOING.

So I ask myself all the time what beliefs (and thoughts) I’d need to have to see what I’m asking for show up in my life.

When I look at this novel-to-movie dream, some of the limiting beliefs that pop up for me are:

  • No one I know has ever done this
  • What makes me think my stories are good enough to be on the big screen?
  • Being a Hollywood screenwriter is a pipe dream
  • There’s too much competition for me to achieve this dream
  • Millions of other novelists have this exact same dream—to see their novels as movies on the big screen—what makes me think I’ll be one of the novelists who actually does it?

YUCK!

Thoughts and beliefs like that are NOT going to help me achieve my goal of having my novels turned into movies. 

That’s why I have to ask myself what I’d need to believe in order to create what I want to see, so I can dig out those limiting, negative beliefs and thoughts that are going to hold me back.

When I think about the beliefs I’d need to have to align with my novel-to-movie goal, I think of:

  • Nicholas Sparks, Sophie Kinsella, JoJo Moyes, Stephenie Meyer, Kathryn Stockett… just a small handful of novelists who have seen their novels turned into movies. If it can happen for them, it can happen for me.
  • I know my genre and I know my readers and I know my stories would make awesome chick flicks
  • You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to… even this
  • There’s no such thing as competition because no one else can ever be me
  • Shared dreams are powerful connectors between writers, and it motivates and inspires  them to know what’s possible for one writer is possible for another

BOOM!

Beliefs and thoughts like that are much more likely to get me to my end result of seeing my novels turned into movies. 

And that’s why I spend time each day creating and crafting my reality, exactly as I want to see it. First by writing about it in my journal as if it’s already my real life; and then visualizing it and feeling as if it’s already real; then going into my day acting like it’s already real and taking action in alignment with the belief that it’s real.

I taught a workshop locally last weekend all about my Bestselling Author Mindset Formula, and after I explained my daily mindset practice to the group, one man raised his hand and said that what I’m doing is a self-hypnosis exercise that focuses your brain.

And that’s really what writing your reality and crafting your thoughts and beliefs is. It’s reprogramming (or self-hypnotizing) your mental computer to focus on, think about and believe what YOU want it to.

Not what society has told you to think and believe. Not what you were taught to think and believe. Not what you see other people thinking and believing.

But what YOU want to think and believe.

That’s what matters. That’s the only thing that matters. Yes, action is involved too. You’re not gonna create your dream life sitting on the couch watching Netflix. You have to take daily actions that align with your goals.

But you knew that already.

What’s hard is getting yourself to take the actions and take them daily and consistently, like you know you need to be. And that’s where the beliefs come in.

Because when you believe something is already true, you’re much more likely to take action and do the work. When you believe it’s possible for you to have, do and be something, you’ll turn off the Netflix and get to it. 

But when you have beliefs and thoughts that contradict the goal you have, that’s when you’ll use Netflix (and procrastination, and binge-eating, and wasting time on Facebook) as a way of sticking your head in the sand and avoiding the work.

Which is why you’ve gotta get your mind to your goal before your life will get there. Beliefs create thoughts which create actions which create results. 

Want to hear the best part?

You can get wherever you want to go in your writing life, by starting right where you are right now. And by consciously deciding that you will direct your thoughts and beliefs toward the outcomes and results you want to see in your life.

I really challenge you to take this one on. To spend 5-10 minutes a day consciously directing your thoughts and beliefs to where you want to go. Do it first thing in the morning if you’re able to. (Here’s a book and journal that can help you do this.)

Direct your thoughts and beliefs every day for the next 90 days. Report back.

Expect miracles. 

 

Share With Us

What old belief(s) are you going to let go of? Create a new belief(s) and share it in the comments. 

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Want to reprogram your beliefs and thoughts so you can align them with the writing goals you have? Grab a free copy of my eBook–The Bestselling Author Mindset Formula: How To Think Your Way to #1 here

What False Beliefs Are You Holding As True?

Transformation is a continual process of letting go”–Holistic MBA

When I was in first grade, I got punched in the stomach by a second grader while waiting for the bus to school. It happened on the front porch of my babysitter’s house, a place where I was supposed to feel safe.

Worse off, when I told the babysitter what happened, she didn’t believe me, because the second grader played innocent and said I was lying.

That day I created two “stories” about myself:

These “stories” turned into deeply-rooted beliefs that I held about myself. These beliefs became my identity and how I showed up in the world.

I was bullied on and off my entire life, by people in school; by family members; by the people I worked for. And all along I kept telling myself “I’m not good enough” and “no one likes me.”

I slowly went from being an extroverted person to being an introverted person. I figured if I shrunk low enough and hid away, no one would see me, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about not being liked.

The years went on and I attracted more and more things that made me feel “not good enough” and that “no one liked me.” Things like no one showing up to my birthday party; not getting an internship at a big magazine in NYC; and never getting to date the guy I ‘really wanted’ all made me feel inadequate and disliked.

I was living into the stories I made up about myself when I was six years old. The stories had become my reality.

Of course all of this was going on subconsciously in my life. And it wasn’t until recently when I finally realized that my whole life went the way it did because I created beliefs about myself that were false, but I lived with them like they were true.

What I’ve been doing the last two decades is letting a six-year old run my life (and now my business!) I’ve been living with beliefs that were given to me by a scared little girl who just wanted people to like her.

And while having those beliefs served a purpose at one time (to keep me safe), they no longer serve me today. Today, holding onto those beliefs is holding me back–in life and in my business.

So I am choosing to let them go.

Disillusioned In Life

It’s so easy to get disillusioned by the world around us. We see updates on Facebook about our friends’ successes or we watch celebrities or the people we admire most have these big, beautiful, amazing lives and we think to ourselves: “what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I have what they have?”

What we have to keep in mind is that what we see on the outside, what people show us, is just one facet of things. We’re not seeing below the surface.

And so we’re comparing ourselves and our lives to the shining moments in the lives of others, without realizing that they have a dark side too.

Every single person on this planet has fears. Everyone feels afraid. Everyone has doubts and worries. We all have beliefs we’re holding onto that are no longer true for us.

Even those people you admire who have amazing lives still deal with negative things. They don’t have perfect lives. It only looks like they do.

So it’s easy to get disillusioned and to think everyone else is so much better than you and that you might as well give up now. What’s not easy is choosing the opposite road.

The Road Less Traveled

Right now you have a writing dream inside you. That dream is being held back by false beliefs that you’re holding about yourself.

You can choose to continue living life as you are. Ignoring your writing dream, procrastinating and never working toward that novel you want to write (and publish).

Or you can take the road less traveled and face those false beliefs–acknowledge you have them and that you no longer need them–and let them go, so you can finally go after your dream.

The choice is up to you.

Share With Us

What false beliefs are you holding (or have held) about yourself? Are you ready to face ’em and let ’em go?

Image courtesy of Jason Eppink