Let me ask you something… why are you so afraid of getting the result? You know you want it. You know you think about it all day long and dream about it all night. You know you’re meant to have it and that it wouldn’t even be a desire you hold inside if it wasn’t also possible for you to achieve it.
And yet, there you sit, still not fully stepping up and doing the work.
Sure, from the outside it looks like you’re doing the work, because you are doing something. You’re writing most days. You’re seeing some progress. You’re even feeling pretty good about the direction you’re heading.
But there’s still something nagging you. A voice that says you’re doing a good job of fooling the world into thinking you’re successful. Because by most people’s standards, you are. You’ve achieved things most people just dream of achieving, but you’ve made it happen.
Except you feel like a failure on the inside.
You don’t even really feel like you’ve achieved much of anything. You’ve just barely scratched the surface of where you want to go. And so while the outside world sees you as a success, you’re not quite seeing that for yourself.
Because you know you’re still not all in. You know you’re still not fully stepping into the identity of the writer and creator you want to be.
Something is still holding you back.
And you know what that something is. You just don’t want to say it out loud. ‘Cause saying it out loud makes it real.
You have a deep-seeded fear. It comes up every time you get close to achieving something and especially when you do actually achieve something. No matter what you do, it’s always there.
But it’s time to finally admit it and acknowledge the giant in the room. Time to come clean. Time to face the fear and say it out loud…
I’m afraid of succeeding.
I’m afraid of what it will mean. I’m afraid of how it will change my life. I’m afraid of what I’ll lose because of it. I’m afraid of what I’ll have to give up. I’m afraid of what others will think about me, and even more so what others will think that I think about myself.
I’m afraid of judgment. Afraid my family won’t be able to relate to me and I’ll be pushed further away from them than I already am. I’m afraid my husband will stop loving me. I’m afraid people will think that I’m stuck up and conceited.
I’m afraid that having it all will cause people to no longer like me. I’m afraid achieving all of my dreams and life goals will make people think that I think I’m better than they are.
I’m afraid the ease at which I know I can make things happen will cause people to think I didn’t really earn it or that I didn’t work hard for it. I’m afraid I can’t sustain the success and lifestyle that I want. Afraid it won’t last. Afraid I really am just dilusional and that everyone around me who’s said negative things is totally right…
As these fears continue to bubble up, success looks more and more like something you don’t want to tango with. It looks easier to just continue achieving mediocre things that most people think are awesome, because then you can look successful without ever really having to be.
‘Cause technically achieving something makes you a success. And right now you’ve achieved the level of success you can handle and that you’re comfortable with.
Why keep pushing it, right? You’ve done well so far. Might as well keep this facade of external success up while still feeling unsuccessful on the inside, because while the outside world sees different, you know you’re only playing at 50% (or less) capacity than you really could be.
It’s like when you’re playing softball in gym class and you seem to be participating and doing the work because you’re out in the field and you’re catching balls and throwing players out at the bases.
But your heart is still in the stands, waiting for you to pick it up and do with it what you’re really meant to.
It’s still there. It never goes away. Anytime you make progress, you see success sitting there on the horizon. Waiting for you.
And so you self-sabotage. You skip your writing session. You eat massive amounts of junk food and numb out with Netflix. You create life chaos or make yourself busy so you can reasonably excuse yourself from being that writer and creator you want to be, because who’s gonna point fingers at someone who’s working as hard in life as you are?
So you achieve something minor and then secede from success for a bit. Self-sabotaging and repeating the same behavior patterns as usual. The ones that keep you stuck.
The ones that stop you from ever having to fully go all in and fully step into who you need to be to achieve your dream life.
It’s easier that way, it really is. Then you’ll never have to worry about what would happen if you achieved success. What you would lose or who you would become or what people would say.
You can ignore all of that if you just never bother going all in, if you just keep dancing around the stuff you know you need to be doing every day, but never actually doing it. If you just do some of what needs to get done every day, but don’t do all of it.
Then you can avoid success all together. Then you’ll never have to answer all those doubts in your head or see if all those things you fear actually happen or not.
Then you’ll be able to sit cozy in the comfortable, mediocre existance that you’ve settled for and never have to worry about the what ifs.
What if you did go all in? What if you did all the work you needed to do? What if you made your writing and creating a priority? What if you stepped fully into the identity of the writer and author you want to be? What if you stopped putting it off until tomorrow? What if you achieved your dream life? What if you had everything you’ve ever wanted and more?
What if you hadn’t let the fear of success hold you back?
What would your life look like if you were fully showing up every day and living like you mean it?
Then you’d actually have to do the work and be fully present and show up and live with intention. Then you’d achieve the success you’ve been so afraid of and you’d find out that fear is just a mindset and that when you allow fear to hold you back, you’re making False Expectations Appear Real when they’re not.
But what if you decided right now, today, that you would no longer allow fear of success and fear of having it all hold you back?
Dream life or bust,