Confession: I’m impatient as fuck.
When I finally decide that I want something, I want it NOW. I don’t want to wait for it. My creative juices go into overdrive trying to figure out how to get it NOW.
Maybe you can relate?
It’s the problem with being a multi-passionate writer who has big dreams to fulfill. Because there’s so much you want to do and achieve and be and have, and you think you need to have it all right now.
And so if it doesn’t show up right away, you think you’re doing something wrong. You worry that it will never happen for you. You tell yourself that maybe you’re not good enough or worthy enough to have it. Or, even worse, that it happens for everyone else, but it won’t happen for you.
Been there. Done that. Still do it at times. But the thing I’ve learned over my decade of being a writer online is this: it never happens as fast as you think it’s going to.
And this is a good thing.
Huh? How can not getting what you want when you want it be a good thing?
Because if you got everything right now, all at once, right when you wanted it, chaos would ensue. A kind of chaos you’ve not yet experienced.
Imagine waking up and having everything you’ve been asking for right there waiting for you. The body. The success. The money. Sounds like a dream, right? Maybe. Until the calls start. And the emails.
Oh, you don’t know about the calls?
What about the emails? Didn’t hear about those either?
OK, let’s back up for a second.
Imagine that you’re Nicholas Sparks. You’re one of the richest writers in the world. You’ve seen more success in the last two decades than most see in two lifetimes. You’re always in demand. You get probably 100 calls a day and 1,000+ emails. Now imagine you woke up tomorrow and that was all true for you.
Except for you, it all happened overnight.
When you went to bed last night, you were still you, a struggling author just trying to get your shit together and sell some books. When you woke up, you are the most in-demand author this planet has ever seen. Everyone wants a piece of you. Everyone wants to work with you, hire you, pay you, call you, get your feedback, ask for your approval, have you represent their charity…
And since it happened overnight, you don’t have the support team or systems in place to handle the chaos, so you’re laying on your bed with thousands of unanswered emails and hundreds of unreturned phone calls… and all you can think is, “I wanted this? REALLY??”
If this happened, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. You wouldn’t be ready for it. You’d bust SO FAR past your Upper Limit that your subconscious would immediately find ways to sabotage everything so you can get back to a place where you feel safe and comfortable again.
This is why the pace at which things actually show up in your life is a blessing.
The pace is there to help you up-level gradually. So your mind and your capacity to hold on to the success is where it needs to be when the success shows up.
That way you don’t sabotage it or wreck it with negative thoughts and old beliefs that you still have. Because you’ll have worked through that shit already and you’ll be to a place where you feel like you can handle the success you’re asking for.
You may not feel ready, but you feel capable.
And that’s why you have to do your part—show up fully every single day, do what matters and be consistent—as well as trust in the timing of the Universe. It’s impossible for you to do those three things: show up fully every single day, do what matters and be consistent, and not get where you want to go.
So if you know for certain that you’ll get there and your dream life will be your real life, why worry about the timing? Why stress yourself out trying to make things happen faster?
Just enjoy life, do you, and trust that as long as you keep going, the pieces of your dream life will continue to show up, until one day in the not too far off future, you’ll be living the dream life in your reality that you’ve only seen in your mind up ’till now.
Write with a purpose, live with intention,
P.S. The Story Revision Kit: Process + Strategy for Revising Your Novel is coming TOMORROW!!! Want it? Get on my email list here so you’re the first to know when it’s available (and you’ll also get a free eBook: The Bestselling Author Mindset Formula: How To Think You Way to #1).
NOTE: this is a guest post from Mary DeRosa Hughes of the Grateful Scribe
A few weeks ago, my best friend and fellow writer Kelly called me up on the verge of a panic attack. She was swamped with projects, when one of her clients came to her with an assignment she had no time for: writing employee profiles for a group of highly successful metropolitan realtors. Never one to disappoint a customer, she asked if I could pinch-hit for her.
I had room in my work schedule, so I accepted the assignment. After her breathing returned to normal, she gave me the details.
“They need a full page bio for each realtor. Twenty five of them. In five days.”
So it’s a tight timeline.
“And you also have to interview everyone. ”
Now it’s a really tight timeline.
Then she hit me with the final piece: “Just a heads up: they’re insanely busy people. If you get five minutes of their time, that’d be a serious miracle. As in turning-water-into-wine kind of miracle.”
Kelly was relieved, but my anxiety-fueled monkey mind was off to the races.
I have to track down twenty five real estate agents who barely have time to breathe, let alone talk to me. And if they do give me five minutes of their time, they’ll probably be hostile because they could have used those precious minutes to sell sixteen condo units. I’ll never get anything good from them, so the profiles will be horrible. Why did I say I would do this?
But then the chatter stopped. And I shifted from questioning my sanity to questioning my lack of faith, in myself and in the Universe.
I have been writing professionally for almost 20 years. I believe infinite wisdom is at work in everything. The Universe sent me this assignment for a reason.
So why do I think I can’t handle this? I have to embrace it and trust the process. Believing fully that everything will work out.
After pondering that for a moment, I logged into my email, pulled up the contact numbers for every agent and started dialing.
My initial call was simply to set a time for us to chat. But surprisingly, quite a few of them agreed to let me interview them right on the spot, and they offered up some great info. Many of them even spent well over the coveted five minutes with me.
Several days later, I turned in the project, feeling not only relief, but a renewed sense of confidence, in both myself and the Universe.
Learning to trust the process is great for everything from supporting your work in the world to your mental and physical health. But what exactly can you do to snap into “trust autopilot” when faced with scenarios that are unfamiliar, nerve wracking or downright scary?
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Inventory Your “Work Outs” (and I don’t mean time at the gym) – How many times have things you initially doubted and stressed over actually worked out? Probably more often than not, right?
Keep a list of all the successes you’ve had when you just relaxed, took action and let the Universe orchestrate the “How.” When you feel like your sense of trust is headed for the exit, grab that list and read it.
Stop Fearing The Fear – As long as you are learning, growing and trying new things, you will encounter at least some level of fear at the outset of whatever you’re doing.
And contrary to what your churning stomach and racing heart may seem to indicate, you’re not going to die. Honestly.
You are actually becoming more alive by facing – and conquering – these uncomfortable feelings.
Curtail the “Cursed Hows” – You’ve set your intention. You’ve put positive energy around the situation. You believe that the Universe will deliver an awesome end result.
But…you can’t stop thinking of how it will all come together. Which people will or won’t cooperate? Where will the money come from? Is this going to take a week? A month? Forever?
When you catch yourself running this tape-loop in your head, stop.
Then remind yourself that you’re dealing with a powerful, loving, unlimited creative force with riches and resources far beyond what you can imagine. And all of them will be at your disposal the moment you choose to trust the process.
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What steps can you take to learn to trust the process in your own life?
About the Author:
About the Author: Mary DeRosa Hughes is a freelance writer and blogger based in Scottsdale, Arizona. She has been writing professionally for over 18 years, with experience ranging from corporate video scripts and motion picture screenplays to marketing copy and website content. Her short film Anniversary was an Official Selection of the 2013 Aesthetica Short Film Festival in York, U.K. She is also working on the rewrite of her first fiction novel, and is excited to be releasing her second short film Waiting For Goodbye in the summer of 2016.