Are You Focusing On What You Want Or On What You Don’t Want?

Sometimes we think we’re focusing on what we want in life or business, but what we’re actually doing is focusing on the lack of having what we want.

How is this possible, you ask? How can we possibly think we’re focusing on what we want but actually be focusing in opposition to it?

It’s pretty simple.

Take a look at your thoughts. What have you been thinking lately, today, in this moment, about the thing you want?

Have you been thinking about what your life will be like when you have it? Have you been imagining what it will look like, feel like? Have you been getting clear on what your life experience will be?

OR… have you been worrying about how you’ll get it? Thinking about what you’ll have to do to make it happen? Thinking about all the things that could get in the way of you having it? Or something else along those lines?

Then I’ve got news for ya–you’ve actually been focusing in OPPOSITION to what you really want.

I know that can be hard to hear. It can be hard to have the realization that all along not only have you NOT been focusing on what you want but you’ve been actively WORKING AGAINST yourself in getting it by not realizing that you’ve been focused on what you don’t want instead of what you do.

Here’s an example to give you some more clarity.

I want a lake house. I’ve wanted a lake house since I was a kid spending my weekends at my aunt’s private beach on Lake Ontario with my dad and brother. It’s been a life-long dream of mine.

And I’ve gotten the download recently that it’s now time for me to have it.

So I’ve been in manifestation-mode and focused on receiving my lakehouse. Or so I thought.

But when I took a look at the thoughts I’ve been having lately, they weren’t actually about me having my lakehouse at all!!

They were thoughts about what I will have to do to get the lakehouse, like improve my credit score, save money for a down payment, etc. They were thoughts of worry that it might not happen or happen as fast as I want it to.

They were thoughts of feeling like it should have already happened by now.

And these thoughts are not in alignment with me getting what I want. These thoughts are in direct opposition to me getting it.

Instead of thinking about what it will be like to wake up looking at the water every day, or what it will feel like to sit on my beautiful deck listening to the waves crash on the shore, I was trying to figure out the How.

And when you try and figure out the How, what you essentially do is remind yourself that you don’t yet have the thing you want. That lack feeling turns into a lack focus, and before you know it, you’re spending the majority of your time thinking in opposition to what you really want.

Now that I’ve caught myself doing this, I’ve made a conscious decision that I’m no longer going to allow myself to focus in opposition. I’m only going to allow myself to think about what I want–aka my lakehouse–from a place of already having it.

Some examples of thoughts (and actions) that are in support of me having my lakehouse: visualizing myself waking up there, imagining myself writing my daily blog post and working on my books while looking at the water, setting up an alert on the Zillow app so whenever a waterfront property goes up for sale in my area, I’ll know about it.

These are thoughts and actions that will support me in receiving what I want because they’re not energetically blocking it.

These thoughts align with me being open to receiving what I want. Those other thoughts and worries and trying to figure out the How is me blocking the receiving of what I want.

So, what are you focusing on right now? Are you focusing on what you actually want?

OR are you focusing on what you don’t want? And if you are, how can you start focusing more on what you do want?

Share in the comments if you dare.

Dream life or bust,


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