We’ve all been taught so many BS limiting beliefs that we sometimes don’t even realize that’s what’s going on. We spout these societal sayings off like it’s the truth when really it’s just total BS made up by another human who chose to believe that for themselves and then spread it around like wildfire. But that doesn’t make it the truth.
Case in point, a VERY common belief MOST people have is: Business before pleasure.
How many times over the course of your life have you been told, said or thought the words, “Business before pleasure?” My guess is, MANY.
I know because I used to think, say and believe the same thing.
That “work” had to come first, with “work” typically being defined as anything that needs to get done but that we don’t actually feel like or want to do.
And we’ve convinced ourselves that if we just “do the hard stuff first” or if we do the things that need to get done first, then we’ll have the rest of our time available for fun and pleasure.
The problem is (and I’m sure you can guess): that time for fun and pleasure never actually ends up happening.
You’re too tired, burned out and over it from doing all that stuff and taking care of the “business” you put first. Now you don’t have the energy or the time to do anything fun or feel-good or pleasurable.
So you just end up working hard and doing a bunch of stuff you don’t really care much about, simply because you think it has to get done and you believe that you have to do it first. Meanwhile, all those fun, pleasurable, feel-good things you want to be doing are pushed to the back burner for “one day.”
And I’m sorry (no, I’m not), but that is so much freaking NONSENSE I can’t even stand it. It makes me physically ill to think about how much nonsense it is.
So get ready ’cause I’m about to flip that shit, scramble the jets and BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND, by breaking this all down for you:
1. A Belief Is An Opinion That Has Been Repeated So Many Times It Becomes Accepted As Truth
When I Googled the definition of “Belief,” here’s what it said: “An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.” Pretty neat, right?
This is why I love looking up definitions of words, because a lot of times, they don’t mean what you think they do.
Most people think a belief is truth. That whatever the majority says and believes is what’s true.
But the actual definition of “belief” is “an ACCEPTANCE that a statement is true.”
That means you can’t just have the belief statement itself. You also need to have ACCEPTED that the statement IS true.
And the statement needs to come from somewhere, right? It can’t just appear out of thin air.
Another human has to say or write a statement for it to become a statement. And a statement is simply a thought that someone else has based on their own perceptions and life experiences.
2. A Belief Is Just Someone Else’s Opinion
There is no actual true or false, right or wrong except for Universal Laws (like gravity or thoughts become things) which are absolute truth. So anything society says is true, false, right or wrong is also an opinion.
When I looked up the definition of “opinion” it said: “A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”
So if “beliefs” are other people’s “opinions,” then there are no true, false, right or wrong beliefs EXCEPT the ones YOU decide to–as the definition of “belief” says–ACCEPT AS TRUE.
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news (actually, I’m lying–I LOVE delivering news like this to people): EVERYTHING you currently believe right now is based on an OPINION–either yours or someone else’s–that you have ACCEPTED AS TRUTH.
Which brings me to…
3. “Business Before Pleasure” Is Just A Belief
Whew! Did we really have to go through ALL of that just to get to the place where I can now tell you that “Business before pleasure” is just a belief?
Yes, we did. We really did. Because without all that we went through, you might’ve just kept thinking there are some beliefs that are true and some that are false.
And you’d continue to operate under that misperception.
That’s why I wanted to break it all down for you first, so when we finally discuss the belief that started me down the path of this post, you would see it for the BULLSHIT that it actually is.
So here we go… “Business before pleasure” is just a belief, and a belief is just an opinion, and an opinion is just a judgment or view another human made up that might not even be based on anything factual or any knowledge they actually have.
And yet you’ve spent your life believing and spouting off the belief, “Business before pleasure” (among others).
You most likely got this belief from your parents who got it from their parents, who got it from their parents, etc., and on and on. This is a long-held belief our society has had.
But this belief is rooted in FEAR. Fear is dripping all over it, seeping into your life and your subconscious.
This fear-based belief–Business before pleasure–was created by another human, probably a frustrated parent who just wanted to get their kids to do homework before playing with their toys. (They didn’t realize what they were doing.)
And it couldn’t be FURTHER from the truth.
Which brings me to…
4. Pleasure Is FUEL and the Key to BENDING TIME
There’s NO Universal Law that says you must “take care of business” before you experience pleasure. And Universal Laws are the only absolute truths that exist.
The rest, as we discussed above, are opinions we choose to accept as truth.
You know all of that “business” stuff you and everyone else thinks should be done first? That stuff will always get done, some way, somehow.
Why? Because it has to.
You have to take care of your kids. You have to feed and walk your dog. You have to go to work or run your business. You have to do household tasks (or get someone else to do them). You have to be a responsible adult or whatever. Blah, blah, blah.
But when you constantly do that stuff first, before you do anything fun, pleasurable or feel-good, you don’t end up doing what actually matters.
And if you’re not careful, you could live your whole life this way. Most people are (which is why I said in the headline of this post, your life sucks. Now maybe your life doesn’t SUCK, but that headline did get you riled up a bit, and it definitely made you read down to this sentence).
The whole point of life is to FEEL GOOD.
It’s to have fun, to enjoy yourself and to experience pleasure. God wouldn’t have given us 4,000-8,000 (depending on your sex) nerve endings with pleasure being the only purpose if pleasure wasn’t supposed to be a natural, normal part of our daily existence. (Or do you think God makes mistakes?)
And the path to receiving the life you want–all of the dreams, the desires, the wants–is to FEEL GOOD in the process. It’s to experience pleasure and have fun and enjoy yourself every single day on the way to all of those things.
When you PRIORITIZE pleasure and feel-good activities in your day–and especially when you do them first BEFORE you “take care of business”–you not only FUEL yourself with the energy you need to take care of that business, but you also BEND TIME so that you can fit it all in.
BUT IT DOES NOT WORK the other way around.
You CANNOT prioritize “taking care of business” and think that you’ll ever have the energy or time left over for doing things that are fun, pleasurable or feel-good. You just won’t.
By prioritizing things that aren’t fun or pleasurable, instead of first doing something to feel good, you actually wear yourself out, zap your energy and make yourself tired as fuck. So even if you have some time left after the “taking care of business” you’re so exhausted you just numb out with things like food and Netflix.
Which brings me to my final point…
5. Take the Time to Figure Out What Matters and Then Put THAT First
I define “what matters” as the things and activities that make you feel fucking amazing; the things that are fun, pleasurable, feel-good and make you so damn happy to be alive. THAT is the stuff that actually matters.
Now what creates a fun, pleasurable, feel-good feeling will be different for each of us. For some, it may look like taking a bath instead of a shower, or using the good china for dinner on an average night, or getting a massage, or putting on a gorgeous dress and wearing it out, or wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket and laying on the couch with a book for an hour.
Whatever feels good, feels fun, feels pleasurable to you, those are YOUR activities and things that matter. Some of my feel-good activities include writing (obviously), reading, hanging out with my dog, watching Rom-Coms, dancing, going to the gym, singing my heart out to my favorite songs, doing my daily mindset practice.
When I put that stuff, my pleasure, before I “take care of business,” my life is magical. I’ve got the fuel I need to get everything else done that needs to be. Time bends to help me fit it all in. And I feel AMAZING which raises my vibe and allows me to attract and receive so many of the things I desire.
My opinion-turned-belief is PLEASURE BEFORE BUSINESS. And that is now the truth I choose to operate from and live my life by.
Which opinion do you choose to live by?
Dream life or bust,