You Have To Recognize Your Relationship Patterns If You’re Ever Going To Receive a Different Outcome

Last night, I was watching an episode of Catfish that I recorded. (Yes, I watch that show and find it interesting and a great place for story inspiration. But I digress…)

In the episode, there was a woman who had been talking to a guy she met on Facebook for three years, and yet they had never video-chatted or met in person. A year and a half prior, she had called off her wedding because she said she realized she had been “ignoring red flags for a long time and was done with it.”

She then went on and explained to Nev about this guy she’d been talking to for three years, and how, after her engagement ended, she started to develop feelings for him and him for her. She was totally in love with him and wanted to be together IRL.

But she hadn’t ever video-chatted or met the guy in person. And any time they tried to do either of those things, he “had car trouble” and it didn’t end up working out.

Red flags all over the place to anyone outside of the situation.

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Know Your Worth And You’ll Actually Receive What You Desire And Deserve

After my divorce, I made a promise to myself: I would never again settle, accept less than, or have a mediocre relationship.

My previous relationships, including my marriage, weren’t exactly horrible experiences, nor were the people I was in the relationships with. In fact, most of the relationships I’ve had over the course of my adult life would be ones other people would’ve called “pretty good” or “good enough.”

But for me, I knew I was accepting less than. Settling. Allowing mediocre.

And there was a simple reason for it: I didn’t feel worthy or good enough for something better.

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Until You Feel Worthy, You Will Never Truly Receive What You Desire in Life

Here’s the truth: Until you feel worthy, you will never truly receive what you desire in life.

Instead, you’ll receive other things that become the contrast that gives you clarity. You’ll experience people and situations and circumstances that recreate that unworthy feeling.

Over and over and over again. It will be a perpetual cycle that won’t stop until you consciously choose to stop it.

Until then, it will just continue to be more people, situations and circumstances that match “unworthy” and “not good enough.”

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5 Simple Steps To Create A New Habit

When I was 22 years old, I went to a dentist appointment and was told I had 8 cavities–all in teeth that I’d already had filled before. The dentist was adament that I get them taken care of right away, before they became root canals or worse.

So I went and saw a specialized dentist who was recommended to me. When I saw that dentist, her recommendation was two-fold: she said I needed to have inlays done, where they basically hollow out the inside of your tooth and then create a custom-made filling to replace what they removed; and I had to start flossing every night.

The process cost around $7,000 and it took three visits to the dentist–two to drill and hollow out the teeth and then take the impressions to send to the lab that would create the fillings, and then one to actually put the inlays in when they were ready.

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A Simple Exercise To Practice Being Present In The Moment

Being present in the moment is something I’ve really been working on this year. I’ve tried to stay off my phone when I’m doing other things. I’ve removed the notifications from my phone and email so that I’m not distracted all day.

And I’ve especially started to leave my phone in my purse, on the charger or in another room when I’m spending time with people.

It’s not always easy to be present. There are so many things vying for your attention and calling to you as you attempt to stay in the moment.

So I came up with a really simple exercise you can do pretty much anywhere that will help you learn to be present.

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