A lot of writers and creatives tell me they “wish they had my confidence.” And it’s true; I am confident, especially in my abilities as a writer and my willingness to put my creative stuff (and myself) out into the world.
But it wasn’t always like that.
There was a time when it took me 100 tries just to make a two-minute video. There was a time when I wouldn’t even speak my opinion out loud to anyone because I didn’t want them to judge me or think bad of me. There was a time when I kept my ideas, my thoughts, my gifts to myself and didn’t put them out there at all.
Until I realized, I actually did have something to say. I actually had learned quite a bit over the course of my life that I could teach others. And I wanted to.
So that also meant I had to get over myself and find a way to put my stuff out there.
It wasn’t an easy journey by any means. As someone who grew up getting bullied and who always felt not good enough, it was TOUGH.
But I kept at it and I did as much as I could to keep moving forward; writing books and blog posts, making videos and doing livestreams.
Eventually, I found my flow. And even though it’s still hard at times—I can’t even begin to tell you how long I sometimes sit there trying to convince myself to hit “go live” on a livestream—it gets easier the more you do it.
Publishing my first book was SCARY!! Now I publish books with total ease and LOVE IT!
I know—you’re scared to put your writing, your creative work, your gifts, your talents, YOURSELF out there. The world can be a cruel place and there are a lot of hateful people online.
But there are also SO many MORE people who will benefit from what you’ve created. There are people out there who are an exact perfect match for the thing that you’re creating. And they need it, they want it.
Except they can’t have it if you’re not putting it out there.
SO I’m gonna show you the 5 things I did to become confident in myself and in putting my creative work out into the world.
1. Work On Your Mindset DAILY
I didn’t start this until many years into my writing journey, but now it’s a non-negotiable for me.
I work on my mindset and inner game every single day in some way shape or form. Period.
Before I had an “official” daily mindset practice, I used to do Morning Pages (3 hand-written, stream-of-consciousness pages you write first thing upon waking). Then I added in Morning Meditations (2 specific audios I would listen to).
I started doing this while I was still working my corporate day job and commuting to an office every day. After I quit my job to work for myself, I eventually found my way to the daily mindset practice I do now.
If I could go back to the beginning and do one thing differently, THIS would be it.
Not only has having a daily mindset practice improved my mindset and inner world, but it helped me to become confident in myself and in my gifts and talents.
2. Get Yourself Some Support
I’ve always been into learning as much as I can, so I’m always taking classes or workshops. But when I started to work with coaches, it shifted things FAST.
Having an outside sounding board who is willing to be straight-up with you and also be a cheerleader on your sidelines is PRICELESS.
I used to think I had to do it all on my own, but no successful writer or creative is an island. They ALL have support somewhere in their life, whether that’s a coach, a creative friend, a family member, etc.
The point isn’t who you go to for support (although you obviously want someone who loves you and who won’t judge or criticize you), it’s that you get some support for yourself. No matter what that looks like for you.
Confidence develops naturally when you surround yourself with people who get it and get you and who want to see you thrive.
3. Practice
This one isn’t too earth-shattering, but it’s true nonetheless. Practice is how you get better at anything. This includes being more confident.
The more you practice putting yourself and your creative work out there, the easier and easier it will be.
But it takes practice. It takes time to develop your confidence muscle, just like it takes time to build actual muscles on your body.
No one is percent confident at the beginning. We all stumble. We all mess things up. We all fall down.
The ones who are confident AF now are the ones who kept at it.
The more you practice putting yourself and your creative work out there, the more natural it will feel to you. Until one day you can’t even remember what it was like to not feel confident.
4. Do The Inner Work
The reason I feel as confident as I do today is because I’ve spent YEARS of my life doing the inner work.
I’ve dug in DEEP and pulled out limiting beliefs and negative thoughts, and BS old stories and patterned ways of being. I’ve dealt with my inner traumas. I’ve healed the things that were unhealed.
And I’ve reprogrammed my system.
I’ve changed how I see myself. I’ve shifted my thoughts. I’ve let go of and forgiven myself (and other people) for all the things I used to think made me unworthy.
I’m not gonna lie—this is the hardest part out of all of it. It’s also why most people never do it.
But if you want to be confident and feel worthy and good enough putting yourself and your creative gifts into the world, it is a MUST.
5. Reconnect With The TRUTH
And that truth is: you’re a divine child of the Universe.
You were born worthy, deserving and good enough just for being YOU. And there’s never anything you have to earn. Not now, not ever.
And there never was.
You did not come into this world thinking negatively about yourself or your gifts. You came here loving yourself and knowing full well that you are a unique being with something immensely valuable to share.
It’s your life journey that changed it.
It’s outside people, friends, family members, the news, society, school teachers, and anyone or anything else you encountered along the way who taught you things in opposition to that. Or you experienced negative things and then decided for yourself it was true.
But that’s ALL external. And NONE of it came from you originally.
Knowing this and really accepting it as the truth that it is will become the foundation for a more confident you.
And whenever you forget, you can always tap back into this truth at anytime and reconnect yourself with who you really are.
Confidence isn’t something you develop overnight. And, honestly, it’s really not even something you create.
It’s something you TAKE BACK.