Haters Gonna Hate. And Haters Have a Place.

It was the Fall of 2009. I was a year into my story planning journey at that point and I still hadn’t published anything. But I was blogging about overcoming procrastination and sharing how things were going as I continued on my writing journey.

And one day I got a hater.

A woman commented on my blog, making fun of the way I pronounced NaNoWriMo (I was saying it NaNo-RyeMo and she said it was NaNo-ReeMo). After I commented back (rule #1: never comment back unless absolutely necessary) she started to say that I didn’t have a right to be blogging about writing if I’d never published anything. I then went back and said that I was blogging about my journey and what I’d learned and helping people overcome procrastination, which was something that stopped me for a very long time.

It went on and on. Eventually, I deleted the entire conversation from my blog.

But the comment stuck with me.

She had raised a good point… why hadn’t I published anything yet?

I might not’ve been ready to publish my novel (I still had a lot to learn about craft and story structure), but there was no reason I shouldn’t publish something non-fiction.

At that point, I had more than 100 blog posts written. It seemed like a waste to not do something else with them. So I pulled out 50-60 of the posts and organized them. Then I added some new content, connected all of the sections together so they flowed, and there I had my first eBook–Butt-In-Chair: A No-Excuses Guide for Writers Who Struggle to Get Started.

Dealing with haters can be annoying and scary and it can make you run and hide. Or you can use it as fuel to push yourself to the next level.

Since that situation on my blog back in 2009, I’ve dealt with haters several times. It used to bother me. And sometimes it still does. But for the most part, I’ve gotten to a place where my dreams are bigger than the bullshit that used to hold me back.

Haters gonna hate. And they have a place. It was a hater that made me finally write my damn book and put it out there.

Who knows how long I’d have waited if that woman hadn’t called me out on not having published yet. Even if it was totally unnecessary and really she should’ve been keeping her eyes on her own lane.

But I’m grateful to her, and all the haters that came after. They’ve all pushed me to a new level in my life and business. Because I know I’m stronger than they will ever be. And I know that haters only hate because they’re people who are not living their purpose or doing anything meaningful with their lives.

And that in and of itself is just so sad it makes my heart break for them.

It’s rare for a hater to shake me these days. But I’ve also gotten less and less of them as I’ve focused more on just doing my thing and calling in the right community and being around like-minded people.

Confidence keeps the haters at bay.

But the biggest thing to remember is, it’s not your fault if you trigger someone. It’s not your problem if you’re speaking your truth, sharing your gifts and shining your light and someone has a problem with it.

Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be doing it.

Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be there.

Doesn’t mean you should hide out and play small.

Just the opposite, actually. It means you need to shine brighter, share more, stand out more.

Over the weekend I heard best selling author, Agapi Stassinopoulos speak at Infinite Receiving Live, and she said something I’ll never, ever forget for as long as I live:

You’re not meant to fit in, you’re meant to stand out.

It was such a profound statement, and it rang true at the core of my being. We’re not meant to fit in or be like everyone else. We’re meant to stand out and be us.

So haters be damned!!

Don’t ever let the opinions of someone else stop you from living your dreams, shining your light and sharing your gifts with the world.

Dream life or bust,



#DreamLifeOrBust #DailyThinkDifferent

P.S. Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year or just need to plan your next story? Be sure to grab my FREE story planning checklist here: www.bit.ly/nanochecklist

4 Replies to “Haters Gonna Hate. And Haters Have a Place.”

  1. Hi, I just listened to you on the Write Now podcast and looked you up. I can’t say I’ve ever called anyone inspirational before, but the description definitely fits you. I didn’t even know I had an insecurity about haters until I read this post, and I already feel it fading away. You are a stunning example of a wonderful human being. Thank you.

  2. hey Jen,

    have a listen to Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers – Keep A Little Soul.
    No one is gonna stop you on your journey…keep on keeping on with your desires, goals and dreams!
    You rock!
    Mike McArdle

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