These aren’t things you’ll hear me admit often, but today, I’m feeling ALL of it. I’m exhausted. I’m stressed. I’m drained. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m in massive Resistance.
These are all signs that point to one thing… I’m currently up-leveling.
Anytime in my business or life where I begin an up-level, stepping into a new version of me and a new version of my life, the life chaos rears its ugly head. It shows up in my physical reality and makes it seem like everything is falling the fuck apart around me.
The real truth is, with every energetic shift and up-level you make, life chaos will ensue. And that’s because things are being shaken up to make space for the new version of you and the new things you’re now asking for and acting on.
But it feels like life has turned into one big shit-show.
That’s what I’ve been experiencing for the last two weeks, and then over the weekend, it got even worse. I made a move from the apartment I’ve been living in to a new apartment that is a serious upgrade from where I was. And everything seemed to go wrong.
I can’t find my passport. The movers somehow lost one of our boxes and it was the box that contained some of my favorite items. A couple of things got broken that I use on a daily basis and have had forever. The move took two full days instead of just one and cost way more money than I budgeted for.
I’m sore and I’m bruised, physically and energetically. I’m broken down.
And yet in the midst of it all, I’m still feeling positive that things are unfolding exactly as they’re meant to and everything that’s happened or is happening is leading me to the most incredible, prosperous, abundant, fun, joyful, high-vibe creative life and business than I could even imagine right now.
Trust. It’s a key factor in receiving the life and business you dream of having.
For the last two+ weeks, I’ve been getting a serious lesson in learning to trust, especially when I’m in the middle of a life-chaos storm so big I feel like it’s enveloping me more and more every day, sucking the life-force energy from me.
It’s fucking scary to keep trusting. And a lot of people would say it’s stupid to.
They’d throw in the towel. They’d give up. They’d give into the chaos. They’re let it derail them.
But not me. I flat-out REFUSE.
I refuse to buy into the chaos. I refuse to believe the lies that are being presented to me in my physical reality. I refuse to lose control of my emotional and mental state. I refuse to go down the tunnel of fear.
Because as I write this, I’m sitting in my new living room with high ceilings, a beautiful wood fireplace on the wall directly across from me, and a view of the Austin hill country and wide-open Texas skies from the sliding-glass door on the opposite wall that leads out to a enormous balcony. I feel different in this space. More empowered. More creative. More high-vibe. I feel like a new me.
This up-level is already worth all of the pain I’ve dealt with for the last two+ weeks.
The problem is when you experience the life chaos and the shit-show, like Murphy’s Law in your physical reality, and you make the decision to believe it. To buy into what you see with your physical senses instead of holding tight to what you feel inside.
That could all shift if you just realized that with every up-level there is always loss, there is always gain, there is always sacrifice, there is always receiving.
I’m reminding myself of that today, as I feel totally off from how I usually feel; as I see things in my physical reality and am experiencing things that aren’t what I’d like to be seeing and experiencing. I’m reminding myself that if you just hold tight to who you are now choosing to be and what you’ve decided is now true for you, it will force those things to eventually come through into the physical realm.
The good, the bad, the ugly, and the hideous AF. It all comes with the territory of up-leveling.
But if you just stick with it, and keep going no matter what shows up, and hold tight to your new beliefs and new ways of thinking and being, eventually it will all look different. In a really good way.
Dream life or bust,
jen
