So often in our lives we hold onto things that are no longer serving us, no longer feel good and that aren’t aligned with what we actually want. We hold onto these things because we’re afraid.
Afraid we can’t have what we really want. Afraid what we really want isn’t out there. Afraid if we did get what we really want that we’ll just sabotage it or lose it.
Or, most of all, afraid that we’re not actually good enough for the thing we really want.
And so we hold onto and attach ourselves to things that are old, outdated, stagnant or holding us back in some way. It seems easier, right?
I mean, if you don’t know whether or not you’ll actually get the thing you want, it logically seems to make more sense to hold on to what you already have.
But the problem is, you’ll NEVER receive what you really want when you’re still holding onto the thing that’s not aligned and not right for you.
And that’s because you need SPACE in order to receive the thing you want. But you won’t have space for it, if you’re still holding onto the thing that’s currently taking up the space of what you want.
For a very long time (far longer than I care to admit) I held onto a relationship that wasn’t working for me anymore, that wasn’t aligned for me anymore and that wasn’t what I really wanted. I held onto it because I loved the person and cared about the person and secretly hoped that maybe one day things would just shift and he’d become the right person for me.
But that’s not how it works.
If something is wrong, it’s wrong. And there’s nothing you can do to make it right.
I also held onto it because I was scared…that what I really want isn’t out there or that I wasn’t good enough for it even if it was.
I was scared that if I let it go and then didn’t get what I wanted, I’d end up alone.
But, again, the problem is, you will never, ever get what you really want when you’re holding onto something that isn’t right for you anymore.
The Universe needs open space in order to bring you what you’re asking for. And it can’t bring you something if you haven’t made space for it yet.
By holding onto my misaligned relationship, I was stopping an even better, more aligned relationship from coming to me.
You have to make space for what you want.
And for a long time (again, much longer than I care to admit), I knew my relationship was no longer aligned for me. It didn’t feel good anymore. I wasn’t happy. We were growing further and further apart. It wasn’t working anymore.
But fear kept me holding on.
Thankfully, my Higher Self knew better and the Universe called my bluff in the form of my husband asking me for a divorce. It was like the Universe was saying, “Hey, not gonna listen to all the freaking signs and nudges I’ve been sending you for years now? Fine. But you’re done here. I’m booting you out.”
My divorce was totally amicable… both of us knew that it was no longer working for us. We hadn’t been happy for years, together or individually, and it was time for us to release the hold and step into the unknown.
This past month is the happiest I’ve ever been, maybe ever.
But it took letting go and making space for something better. That space exists now. And I know the Universe is going to send me exactly what I want in the exact perfect timing.
‘Cause here’s the thing… it’s ALWAYS this or something better. The Universe ONLY trades up.
And I knew this. I’ve known this. But I just wasn’t acting on it.
Now the Universe has forced me to.
It forced me out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. It forced me to face the fact that I wasn’t happy and haven’t been happy for a very long time. It made me deal with my un-dealt-with internal bullshit.
I’m still dealing with it, of course. But at least now I’m no longer ignoring it.
If you’re holding onto something right now that isn’t aligned for you, that isn’t right for you, that no longer makes you feel good, you’re BLOCKING the thing you actually want from coming to you.
And so you have a choice to make… will you keep holding onto the thing that’s not aligned, even though it makes you feel comfortable in the moment? OR will you release your grip on it, let it go, and be willing to hold out for what you really want?
It’s a scary choice, I know, believe me. Because there’s always the underlying fear that what you want isn’t out there, isn’t available for you or wouldn’t want you.
But the even scarier thing is never, ever having what you truly want, not because it’s not out there or because you’re unworthy or don’t deserve it or can’t have it, but because you’re unwilling to make space for it, to release what’s no longer for you and hold out.
Releasing what is no longer serving you and holding out for what you really want is an act of trust. It’s an act of faith. Maybe the greatest one there is.
Because in the moment, you have so much uncertainty and so much fear that you’ll be disappointed or let down.
But when you know and train yourself to believe that you cannot possibly be let down or disappointed because it’s ALWAYS this or something better and the Universe ONLY trades up, you begin to trust. You begin to be OK waiting. You learn to accept the uncertainty and enjoy the moment instead of constantly worrying about what the future holds.
And that, my friends, is what it really takes to get everything you want (and more).
Make space. Hold out. Trust that what you want is already yours.
You show that trust and that faith, by releasing what no longer serves.
And, of course, if you don’t, you always risk not getting what you want… or you risk the Universe taking the unaligned thing away from you (lesson learned, ha!).
You can either change on your own, or the Universe will force you into changing. The choice is yours.
Dream life or bust,
jen
P.S. The Story Revision Workshop starts March 4!! I’ll be walking you step-by-step through the revision process and you’ll actually be revising your story as we go. Doors are opening TOMORROW. Stay tuned!!
