I used to work at a now-defunct energy company that had a slogan: “What’s your Why?” All of our advertising and marketing was built around that message–what’s your Why?
For anyone not familiar with this phrase, a “Why” is basically just the motivation behind or the reason for why you’re doing something (in your life, in your business, etc.).
I believed in the message, but I hated my job. It was one of the most toxic work environments and companies I had ever experienced and I was over it.
When I left my job for good in March 2012, I said I wasn’t ever going to associate myself with things that reminded me of my corporate career. So a couple of years later when I started hearing online business and marketing coaches saying stuff like, “you’ve got to find your why,” I tuned them out.
I didn’t want to hear them talking about their why or about finding mine. I just didn’t care. To me (at the time), my “Why” for being in business was simply to not have to work for anyone else again and have total freedom of my time, location and of the work I was doing.
It didn’t go any deeper than that. And that’s why I struggled.
I enjoyed what I was doing, but I didn’t have a deeper connection to Why I was doing it. So I often said yes to projects just for the money, I worked with unaligned clients because business was business and it was better than having a day job again.
I did the work. I made money. I built my business. I enjoyed it most of the time. I worked with some really great people who I also got paid to help. I launched dozens of programs and workshops. I created membership sites and Facebook groups and podcasts and all kinds of cool stuff.
I told myself I just had to keep going. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a clue Why I should keep going, I just knew my only other option was to get a job (and I refused).
And then I got divorced. I moved back home to live with my dad for a while. I thought things would get better. I thought I would suddenly just step it up in my business and become the person I knew I needed to be.
But I didn’t see a reason to.
There was nothing motivating me. I felt totally unaligned and disconnected from what I was doing. I didn’t see the point.
I fell into a depression, one that comes from feeling purposeless.
Nothing made sense to me.
I had come this far. I had built this up. I had made thousands upon thousands of dollars and helped thousands of writers over the years.
But I still had no clue Why I was doing any of it.
I carried on, forcing myself to push through and continue on with my business goals and plans, even thou I still felt totally disconnected and unaligned.
And then January 2020 came. I couldn’t do it anymore. I could barely force myself to do anything related to my business. Thank God I have a badass Biz Manager/VA to come to my rescue.
Then I went on vacation. The most amazing, relaxing, deeply restorative, luxurious vacation I’d ever gone on.
I thought when I got back I’d hit the ground running. Instead, I felt worse than I did before I left. I couldn’t get myself to do anything business-related. I hated everything.
I didn’t see the point. I didn’t know Why I should carry on. I was stressed the fuck out. I didn’t know what to do anymore.
I binged junk food, sweets, HGTV. I sat around, napping and moping and not feeling all that great.
Suddenly it hit me… I can’t do this anymore.
I couldn’t go a step further until I knew WHY I was doing it. I had to get clear on my WHY once and for all, or it was time to pull the plug.
It didn’t used to matter Why I was doing it. I used to think business was just about making money, helping people and staying free from a day job. And that was a good enough motivation for the first 12 years.
But for the next 12 years and beyond, there had to be more.
I had to finally know WHY I even wanted to continue doing this, especially when I had so much Resistance and so much “I don’t feel like it” around it.
My annual story planning workshop was supposed to start Feb 3. I had auto-pilot promoted it during the weeks where I was depressed and couldn’t bring myself to do anything (like I said, thank God for good support!). I knew I wouldn’t be able to bring the energy in this kind of mental state. So I pushed the start date back a month and gave myself full permission to spend the entire month focused on figuring out and connecting to my Why, my purpose, who I want to serve and how I want to serve them.
I went DEEP. I spent hours journaling and meditating and praying and tuning in and asking the hard questions and doing the work that really matters (on the inside). I looked back at all of the soulmate clients I’ve worked with to see if there was a common thread/common reason I said yes to working with all of them (aside from money).
And what I came out with is total clarity on WHY I do what I do and what my purpose is.
My WHY is to help people bring their dreams to life.
ALL of my soulmate clients came to me because it was their DREAM to publish a book, including my 95-year-old client in hospice whose dying wish was to publish her novel (and we made it happen–more on that soon!).
My PURPOSE is to fulfill my dreams AND to help others fulfill theirs.
I am the #DreamActualizer … I help writers and entrepreneurs who dream of writing and publishing a book make it happen.
Now I get it. Now it all makes sense.
You’ve gotta know your Why. You have to be connected to your purpose and your Why if you want to feel good in your business and make an impact on the world.
Feeling good is a #1 priority for me in my life, so feeling the way I’d been feeling in my business prior to this year was not gonna cut it anymore.
Now I feel amazing and my business feels so aligned and so connected and it all makes sense to me. I have a brand-new motivation and, most importantly, a reason to carry on that is deeply soul-connected.
I love helping people make their dreams happen. It fills my heart with so much joy. When I hear someone talking about a dream of theirs, my ears perk up and I always want to know more and see if I can help them.
I believe in dreams. I believe in my dreams and I believe in yours.
What you dream of is available to you. I know this because you wouldn’t even have the dream if it wasn’t possible for you to achieve it.
But you’ve got to know WHY you want it and you’ve got to be soul-connected to it, otherwise, you’ll never be motivated enough to fully go all in and do what it takes.
So… what’s YOUR Why?
And remember: feeling good is the point and the path.
Dream life or bust,
P.S. Connecting to my deeper Why and purpose on this planet has inspired all kinds of new things that I’ll be sharing with you beautiful writers very soon…