I just made a seriously bold statement: that there’s never anything to fix because you’re perfect exactly as you are.
An extremely bold statement. One that most people probably wouldn’t agree with me on.
But I stand by it.
A big problem that so many people have is that they’re always trying to fix things about themselves and their lives, when there’s really nothing to fix. Fixing something sends the message that you’re broken or there’s something wrong with you.
Couldn’t be further from the truth.
There’s nothing wrong with you. You are perfect, exactly as you are right now.
Yes, there may be things you don’t like about yourself or your life, or things that you want to change or upgrade or improve on. But there’s never anything to fix, because you’re not broken.
And removing the “fix it” mindset is gonna be the thing that finally allows you to see yourself for who and what you really are.
For a long time now I’ve told myself that I need to “fix” my body, just because it’s not how I want it to be. But the thing is–there’s nothing wrong with my body. And many women would kill to have the body that I currently have.
But in my mind, it’s not good enough, because it’s not what I want it to be.
I want to be more toned and fitter. I want to be stronger and have better stamina. I want to my clothes to be loose and to be able to wear any damn thing I feel like wearing whenever I feel like wearing it.
So for months now I’ve been trying to “fix” my body and all the things I think are “wrong” with it. But the truth is, there’s nothing wrong with my body and there’s nothing that needs to be fixed.
I had to finally see that there’s nothing to fix about my body. My body is fine just the way it is. Yes, there are improvements I’d like to make, but saying I needed to fix something would mean that there’s something broken about me, and nothing is.
I just had to start seeing it that way.
And I finally have, thanks to a reframe I gave myself about where I’m currently at.
And, really, it’s the “I have to fix it” mindset that has stopped me from actually sticking with my daily fitness habit in the past. Because if you think there’s something wrong with you or that you have to fix something, it doesn’t exactly motivate you to want to work out or get healthy.
So I had to shift my mindset around fitness and getting healthy, and stop telling myself that I had to fix something.
Sure, I’m not as toned as I once was. I don’t have the body I had in my 20s. I’m not as small as I’m used to being.
But I’m also not that far off. All it would really take is just changing up my eating habits and exercising daily to get to where I want to be.
And if I chose to never do those things, to never eat better or exercise daily, guess what, I’d still survive. I wouldn’t fall apart or become broken.
So there’s nothing that I need to fix.
Approaching my health and fitness from a place of “I need to fix this” is the thing that has stopped me from wanting to make any changes. Which is why I’m no longer coming from that place.
The other day after I worked out at the gym, I had an ephiphany: it takes time to create the body you want.
I didn’t get to where I’m at with my body right now overnight. It took almost 34 years of eating too much sugar and junk food and not exercising very much to get me to where I am right now. I didn’t just eat a bag of cookies one night and wake up with the body I have currently.
Nope. It took years of neglect and not caring about what I was eating and not having enough movement in my life to make this happen.
So change isn’t gonna happen overnight either.
Sounds obvious, but that thought had never really occured to me until the other day. And it has helped me to make peace with the whole “fix it” thing and to realize that so long as I commit to eating better, taking better care of myself and exercising/sweating for at least 20 minutes a day, eventually I’ll get to have the body I’ve always wanted.
The dream body, for me.
This way of thinking–that I didn’t get to this place overnight and so I’m not gonna get to where I really want to be overnight either–has changed everything for my fitness and health. And this way of thinking can also apply to anything else in your life that you want to change or improve, including your writing habits.
You didn’t get to where you’re at with your writing today all in one night. No, the not writing often enough or not finishing your writing projects or constantly procrastinating (or wherever you’re at currently in your writing life) happened over a lifetime of putting the writing off and avoiding it and convincing yourself that it wasn’t important or didn’t matter.
So you can’t just expect to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be a New York Times Best Selling Author.
It takes time to get to that point. It takes working at it a little every day. It takes commitment to the outcome and being willing to do whatever it takes, until it takes and then keep going.
And even still, wherever you’re at today with your writing, your body, your health, whatever, there’s nothing to fix. Because you’re not broken. You’re perfect exactly as you are.
But if you want to change; if you’re inspired to change; if you want to improve things and get yourself to an even better and more pefect for you place, that’s the mindset to have. That’s the way to make the transformation that you want to make.
One day at a time.
Dream life or bust,
One Reply to “There is Never Anything to Fix, You’re Perfect Exactly as You Are”
I think often, the difference is in whether you’re trying to build up a weakness into a strength (a hard battle at best) or fix those design flaws in the universe that keep us from living in our real strengths. The skills, interests, and ways of living that actually work for us ought to be the centers of how we live, and all we need is to find ways to tap into those with fewer distractions.