History repeats itself. This is something ringing very true in the world right now, on a macro level, and it’s also something that’s ringing very true for me on a micro-level.
I’ve, yet again, found myself in a place I’ve been many, many times before. And it has very much felt like my history is repeating itself–my history of being undisciplined and inconsistent with doing the one thing that actually matters.
This is a pattern that has played out in my life for my entire adult life. It’s a pattern I’m familiar with and maybe even comforted by because I’m so used to it.
I’ve, yet again, been getting myself motivated around doing this thing, this one thing, the only thing that actually matters.
And it’s always been such a challenge for me in the past, to do this thing and be consistent with it. Not because I don’t want to be doing it or because it doesn’t feel good or it isn’t aligned. Nothing like that.
It has simply always been a challenge because it’s my purpose and my soulwork. It’s the thing it has always been about for me and the thing it always will be.
It’s also the thing I’ve most avoided, put off, pushed away, procrastinated on, and stuck on the back burner of my life.
That thing is writing fiction.
And it’s a big part of the reason I spent more than a decade building a shadow business coaching writers and editing books. Because for all of that time, I lied to myself and allowed myself to buy into that lie.
I told myself that it couldn’t possibly be about writing fiction. That my life’s purpose had to be bigger. It had to be more than that. It had to be something that would help people and change their lives.
And I wanted to help people.
So I got all caught up in what I thought that was supposed to look like and I created a shadow business helping people do the thing I really wanted to be doing.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I was doing it too, writing fiction. I’ve written several novels, published one, and also wrote four screenplays, one of which placed as a semi-finalist in a prominent contest.
But I’ve never been disciplined about it or consistent with it for very long.
Sure, I’ve been super disciplined and consistent around blogging and writing nonfiction things. And that writing has helped a lot of people. That writing has also helped me tap into who I am and my message and mission in the world.
I am the Feel-Good Life Coach, and teaching people how to use feeling good to get everything they dream of and more is my mission on this planet.
But my purpose is to be a fiction writer.
Being the Feel-Good Life Coach means knowing that I have to put my own feel-good life first before I can be of value to anyone else. And part of that feel-good life is writing fiction.
Not only that, but it’s in writing the fiction that all of the other things I dream of and desire will begin to manifest.
I finally get that. I finally understand that.
Writing fiction is my soulwork and doing my soulwork is what makes my life work. Period. End of story.
And when I’m not doing my soulwork; when I’m not making writing fiction a daily priority; when I’ve somehow managed to convince myself other stuff is more important or I’ve become reactive to what the outside world demands of me, I lose that flow, and my life no longer works.
This pattern, this history, of returning back to the truth and the knowing that writing fiction is literally the only thing I have to do every single day to make everything else in my life work and flow like magic including my business, has happened many times.
And now I finally get it. Now it finally stuck. Now I’m finally clear on this truth in my life.
But this time, I’m not gonna forget it. 🔥
Dream life or bust,
jen
