When you’re trying to make massive changes in your life, whether that be starting to exercise, eating better, doing first things first, or any other kind of change you want to make, there’s something that happens. You get into making the changes, you’re consistent for a few days, and then suddenly… life chaos. Or your car breaks down. Or you get sick. Or you get a hate email.
Or something else bad happens and you think to yourself—I guess I shouldn’t be making these changes. I guess the Universe just doesn’t want me to have the money, the body, the success, the [insert whatever change you’re trying to make].
And that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Its unfortunate, but when you’re making big changes, the Universe tests you. To see how bad you really want it. To see how far you’re willing to go. To see how committed you really are to your life being different.
Because most people aren’t. Most people will let tiny little obstacles get in the way and stop them.
Ever since I implemented a major diet change recently, my life has been hell, on and off. Some days are great—everything flows and feels totally aligned. And other days, it’s like I’m trudging through mud, with no end in sight.
And there’s a lot of back-and-forth that goes on. For a while.
Good stuff… not so good stuff… good stuff… not so good stuff… really good stuff… really not so good stuff… really good stuff… Over and over again it goes on like this.
And at every twist and turn you have a choice: to keep going, or to give into the chaos.
When my health took a hit after I implemented my diet change I could have quit. The pain I was going through was almost unbearable. I could have thrown in the towel and decided that I’d just have to eat like shit the rest of my life, because making a change is just too hard and too painful.
When I started (again) on my journey to being consistent, doing what matters and putting first things first, and everything around me started falling apart, I could have quit. I still could quit.
But I won’t.
No matter how hard it gets.
No matter how rough the chaos.
No matter how bad it all feels.
Because I know what’s on the other side when you keep going. I’ve been through up-levels in my life enough times now to know that this is just a phase. And when you make a major life change, chaos always ensues.
Why? Because your reality is shifting, and things that you’re asking for are trying to come to you… but getting those things requires other parts of your life and reality to shift as well.
Example… in August 2015 I started doing a daily mindset practice. It’s the first time in my life I committed to working on my mindset every single day (and I’ve been doing it ever since, minus a handful of days where I fell off). And the week after I’d been totally consistent with everything and was feeling like I’m making progress… I was flat broke and my car got re-poed.
Most people would take that as a sign to quit. As a sign that it’s just not gonna work out and that you’re not meant to have the things you really want.
But I pushed on.
Because even though it looked like my world was falling apart on the outside, I had this feeling deep inside me that everything was gonna be OK. I didn’t how and I didn’t know when, I just knew it was going to happen.
So I kept going. Kept doing my mindset practice.
Not even 24 hours later, I had another car. And within the next 30 days, I made $15,000+ dollars CASH.
Now imagine if I hadn’t kept going. Imagine if I’d said, this isn’t working and gave up. Imagine if I’d let the chaos and the nonsense I was seeing in my reality stop me.
Where would I be if I’d done that?
Definitely not where I am right now, running a thriving business that grows every month and makes an incredible impact in the world.
So this week, when all the typical signs of a massive up-level have been showing up in my life again… hate emails, feeling like shit, arguing with people close to me, things I’m looking forward to getting canceled or rescheduled… I have to throw logic to the wind and continue on.
And let me just say… it’s NOT FUCKING EASY to do this!!
This week, for example, I had an appointment to get a massage. Something I’ve been treating myself to once a month as part of taking better care of myself and my health. But on Sunday, I got an email… they had to cancel my appointment for Monday because my massage therapist was sick.
Fine. I call and reschedule for Wednesday morning. Show up to the place on Wednesday morning… they don’t have an appointment for me in the system. HUH???
So I reschedule AGAIN and the customer service manager gives me 30 minutes free on my rescheduled appointment as an apology for messing up so badly this week. And then I get back out to my car, and the car parked next to me has the numbers 777 in the license plate. (77 and 777 are my angel numbers that show up for me ALL the time to tell me that I’m in the right place, I’m doing the right things and I just need to keep going.)
It’s like a wink from the Universe. It’s like the Universe is saying, I know things don’t make a lot of sense right now, but keep trusting and keep taking action.
So even though I’m extremely pissed off at this point and I’m fucking DONE with this week and just want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and not come back out ’till next Monday, I keep going anyhow. I get home from trying to go to my appointment, and I write this post.
After I finish writing this, I will go to the gym, and burn off some of the anger. Because I know that even if my reality looks like a shit-show right now, something amazing is on the horizon.
And to get there, I just have to keep going.
That is the push-pull of making changes in your life. Of taking things to a whole new level. Of bringing your dream life to reality.
And most people can’t handle it. Most people will hit one obstacle or challenge and they’ll quit and they’ll tell themselves it’s not worth it and they can’t do it. Believe me, I’ve thought about it. Many, many times.
Thought about what my life would be like if I hadn’t kept going… if I don’t keep going now. If I decide to call it quits and zone out with Netflix and junk food for the rest of my life.
The phrase, “just fucking quit” has been running through my mind for weeks now.
And yet I’m still moving forward. Still working on my food and fitness changes, still committed to doing what matters every day and doing it first things first.
At this point, nothing will stop me. No matter how bad it gets. Because I know it’s all temporary, and a brand new shiny, sparkly reality is on its way to me.
But when you ask the Universe for something new, for something bigger than you’ve allowed yourself to ask for previously, your physical reality has to shake up. It has to. There’s no way around it.
Because the old can’t exist with the new. And the Universe is always rearranging itself based on your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and the things that you’re asking for.
And if you can just stay focused on that fact, and keep moving forward, even though everything is falling apart around you and even though you think you should quit and even though you’re fighting with every ounce of your being to not quit… you will succeed.
There’s no way around it. It’s inevitable.
Because the ONLY WAY you won’t get what you want or where you want to go, is if you stop.
You have a choice in every single moment, to just keep going. To let the life chaos be there and do the work anyhow. To let hell rain down upon you and to continue on.
That is the choice I’m making. It’s the choice I make every single day. And it’s always the choice I will make. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s easy. Even when it feels fucking impossible.
It’s the only way.
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4 Replies to “The Push-Pull of Making Changes (And Why Most Never Do)”
Thank you for this. It’s just what I need to hear today.
@Genia You’re welcome! I needed it too!
I’ve always thought the best advice ever given, or at least the advice that balances every other tip and shortcut out there, was Buffy’s:
“It isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s hard, it’s painful, and it’s every day.”
Not that the painful *part* is every day or every minute. And there ought to be plenty of joy too, if you’re doing it right. But if there’s never any pain, you aren’t doing anything at all.
@Ken AGREED! It’s not always painful but pain is a part of it. Maybe not physical pain, but the pain of sacrificing less important stuff for what really matters, and giving up the excuses, and forcing yourself to do the work anyhow. Painful, but worth it.