The example I’m gonna use for this one is ending a relationship, not only because this is an area where most people feel they need to do it themselves or figure out the How, but also because this is the area where surrendering to God/Universe changed my life forever.

And, honestly, so many people get surrender wrong.

You know you can ask God/Universe for something, but then you still think you need to figure out what to do or still need to worry about it or think about it all of the time—but that’s actually the opposite of surrender.

Here’s what surrender looks like for most people:

You: God/Universe, I think I want to end my relationship. I’m not happy and I haven’t been for a long time now. I don’t think he’s happy either, it doesn’t feel like he is, but I honestly don’t know. I would love your help with this God/Universe.

God/Universe: I’m on it.

You: I think I need to end this relationship. I can’t keep feeling this way. I don’t think I want to be with him anymore. We’re not right for each other anyhow. I could just break up with him right now. Get it over with and be done.

God/Universe: I thought you wanted my help?

You: Maybe I need to make a pros and cons list. Yes that’s what I’ll do. I’ll make a pros and cons list of why we should or shouldn’t be together. Then that will help me decide what to do.

God/Universe: But I thought you wanted my help?

You: I think I need to end it. That’s what I’m gonna do I guess. I’m just gonna end it.

God/Universe: But I thought you wanted my help?

You: It’s time. I have to do this. I can’t keep waiting.

God/Universe: Ok...

You: Have the tough conversation about breaking up. It’s hard. A lot harder than you thought it would be. The break up is messy and dramatic and overly emotional and you both end up hurt.

You: Thank you God/Universe for helping me to be strong and do the right thing and take action even when I felt unsure.

God/Universe: I’m proud of you, but that was all on you.

You: Hmm... did I make a mistake? I kinda miss him... what did I do?! Ugh! Why can’t I ever know what I really want? Why does it have to be so complicated and hard? Why do I struggle so much?

God/Universe: Because you still believe it’s all up to you. I can only help if you let me.

WHAT SURRENDER ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE

You: God/Universe, I think I want to end my relationship. I’m not happy and I haven’t been for a long time now. I don’t think he’s happy either, it doesn’t feel like he is, but I honestly don’t know. I feel so stuck and unsure. God/Universe, I surrender this to you. I don’t know what to do and I can’t keep trying to figure it out myself. I am delegating this to you to figure out for me. If this is truly the right relationship for me, I trust that it will shift in some way, and if it’s not the right one, I ask that you have him break up with me. That way I know for sure.

God/Universe: I’m on it.

You: Well, now that that’s taken care of, I can focus on other things. God/Universe, what should I focus on?

God/Universe: Feeling good.

You: I’m gonna focus on feeling good, for as long as possible, as often as possible.

God/Universe: Great! Here are all of these amazing things that will make you feel good...

You: ... inspired idea... take action. Inspired nudge... take action. Wow, I’ve been feeling really good lately.

God/Universe: Great! Here’s some more stuff to feel good about. Oh, and here are some subtle signs that what you asked me for is on its way to you. Just so you know not to worry.

You: Wow, I’ve been seeing a lot of numerical sequences and all kinds of interesting messages that just feel like confirmation that I’m moving in the right direction. I’m gonna keep going.

God/Universe: 👍

You: Wow, I’ve really been feeling so good lately. I feel like a new me. I feel like something big is coming.

God/Universe: If you only knew. Until then, here are more things to feel good about.

You: Wow, I never knew I could feel this good. And I’ve been seeing signs everywhere lately! For what specifically, I don’t know. But I feel like something big is coming.

God/Universe: Just you wait. Until then, here are some specific actions to take...

You: ... Inspired idea... take action. Inspired idea... take action.

God/Universe: It’s SO close!! Just a little bit longer. I can’t wait to show you what I’ve been working on. It’s gonna blow your mind!!

You: I’ve been seeing signs everywhere. And I feel amazing. I wonder if it’s possible to feel even more amazing?

God/Universe: It is. Just do this...

You: I’ve never done anything like this before but I’m feeling a nudge to do it so why not?

God/Universe: Yes! SO close now!!

You: Wow, I feel amazing!! Beyond amazing!! I’ve never felt better in my entire life. And the craziest part is: NOTHING has changed in the physical. My life is still the same as it was a few months ago, and yet I feel like a brand new person. I don’t even remember the old me anymore. And I wouldn’t give this feeling up for anything.

God/Universe: It’s time.

You: Im feeling inspired to take a walk outside. Huh, is that two bird feathers in the shape of a heart? Cool! I wish I had my phone right now to take a pic of it. Maybe I’ll go back and grab it. Oh, shit, the feathers blew away. How weird.

God/Universe: Today’s the day!!

You: Wait, did he just say what I think he said??? Did he really just ask me for a divorce??

You: Have the breakup conversation. Shed a few tears but mostly just feeling grateful and happy and ready. This is the most peaceful and amicable breakup I’ve ever had. I never knew breaking up could feel this way or be this positive. And best of all, we both walked away feeling good about the decision. Thank you God/Universe for leading me through all of that and allowing me to end up in such an empowered place. I appreciate you so much. You really knocked it out of the park with this one.

God/Universe: That’s my job. And thank you for letting me do it.

Dream life or bust,

jen