As I’m stepping more and more into my upcoming business transition (and it’s MAJOR!), I’m starting to open up to ideas I’ve had for years now, but just haven’t acted on because I was always afraid what people would think. Ideas for things I’ve wanted to do and be and create.
But I just kept on stopping myself.
I let my fear of what people will say and my worry about being judged and having people talk shit about me get in the way of fully unleashing the things I have inside me. And I don’t want to do that anymore.
Maybe you can relate?
You most likely can, because as introverts who love hiding out behind a computer screen and spending time alone, it can be hard to think about the possibility of opening ourselves up to judgment and ridicule and being made fun of. It can be very scary.
But you know what’s even scarier?
Not living the life you were born for. Not getting your creative ideas out in the world. Letting all the things you feel inside die when you do.
Instead of just letting it out. Instead of just trusting in yourself. Instead of allowing the deep knowing to come through, that there’s never anything to worry about. And that the people who hate, judge, ridicule and detract from what you’re doing are just people who hate themselves on the inside because they’re not living the lives they know they truly want to be living.
Seeing you out there, doing your thing, expressing yourself, being who you are, and living the life you’ve always dreamed of triggers the fuck out of them.
And the only thing they know how to do is hate and be mean and ridicule, because it makes them feel better about their shitty, purposeless lives. Because it makes their existance in the world feel more validated by trying to take you down.
Haters, judgers, ridiculer, detractors…they’re just a part of the game. I’ve seen them at every level I’ve been at, in my own life and in the lives of my mentors and friends who are also purpose-driven people.
The sooner you can see it that way, and stop taking those people and the stupid BS they say personally, the sooner you’ll be able to push past the fear that holds you back from going all-in on living your dream life and putting all of your creative ideas and gifts out into the world.
I get it, I really do. I spent my entire childhood getting bullied and picked on and made fun of by other kids (including ones who were related to me by blood), just because I was always someone who lived full out.
When I was a kid, I never held back. I just did what I wanted to do. I was multi-passionate and good at a whole lot of things and I just wanted to express myself and try everything. I put on skits and magic shows for the kids in my latchkey program, I performed songs and dances for the kids in my summer camp. And I never, ever questioned it.
It’s just who I was.
I was born to shine. Born to perform. Born to be on stage. Born to have people pay attention to me and know who I am.
I always knew that, from a very young age.
Which is why I was always performing and creating and shining my light and doing whatever I could to get in front of groups of people who were paying attention to me. I always knew I was born to be a star.
But as the years rolled on, and as I got older, and as the bullying and getting picked on and made fun of continued and got worse, I stopped being that star I know I was born to be. I stopped shining my light. I stopped performing.
I did everything I could think of to NOT stand out and NOT have people see me.
Because as I got older, I started to care more what people thought of me. I started to care that I was being judged and made fun of and bullied for being me.
All I wanted to do was be someone else.
So I retreated. I became an introvert. I lived inside my head. And I stopped being that super creative child that I was.
It felt easier to hide out. If I was hiding out, if I was not shining my light and not performing and not showing people my creative ideas, gifts and talents, then no one would have a reason to make fun of me, or judge me, or look at me and laugh.
Except the only problem with having all of that stuff inside you–the ideas, the creativity, the performances, the talents and gifts–is you can only hide so much. It’s almost like sitting on a beach ball in the water.
You holding the beach ball under the surface so no one can see it. You’re doing a good job of keeping it hidden.
But anytime you make a move or take an action, that beach ball pops up and shows itself.
It’s the same with hiding who you really are. You can try all you want to dim your light, hide out, not show people your true creative gifts and talents. But anytime you make a move in your life, hints of that light, that creativity and those gifts and talents will pop up.
Really, they can’t not. Because it’s who you are, at your core.
And you can try to hide all you want. Try to dim your light and not shine. Try to keep yourself in the shadows.
But the light will find a way to come through. Even just a little bit.
Because when you’re born a multi-passionate, creative being, you can’t help it. It’s just who you are. It’s in your bones, your DNA.
You are the light.
And so the truth is, your hiding is actually doing a major disservice to the world. It’s the thing that’s causing your inner pain and turmoil and frustration and struggle.
So something I’ve been asking myself a lot lately, as I make this pivot from the business I have to the life and business I’ve always dreamed of having, is simple: what if I didn’t care what people thought?
What if I didn’t fear judgment and ridicule and haters?
What if I stopped worrying about what people will think or say?
How would I show up online and in the world if I didn’t care? If I just shined my light and unleashed everything I have inside me and didn’t think twice about it?
What then?
What would I do? What would I say? Who would I be?
These are important questions to ask, especially as we get older. Because the time to live the life we’ve always dreamed of and to be the person we’ve always wanted to be is RIGHT NOW.
But that will never happen if you can’t ask yourself those questions. If you’re not willing to even wonder what you could be like, show up like, have, do and be in your life if you just stopped caring what other people thought, said or did.
So I’ve been asking myself that question: what would I do if I didn’t care what people thought? How would I show up online?
And the answer that comes to me, is I’d be playing full out. I’d be on the field, doing my thing and being who I am.
I’d no longer be on the sidelines or even sitting on the bench near the field.
I’d be in the game.
That’s what this transition is all about. Getting in the game. In a much bigger way. In a full-on way. In a I-don’t-give-a-fuck-anymore-what-others-think kind of way. In a fully expressed, no holding back, say what you think, do what you want, create what you will kind of way.
It’s freeing, really. To finally give yourself permission to be who you are. To finally allow yourself to give up the ghosts of the past and go all-in on the life of your dreams.
That’s what you’ll be seeing from me. Very, very soon.
A whole new me. A whole new business. A whole new way of expressing who I am and what I’m here in this world to do.
Unleashing ALL of me.
No more hiding out. No more caring what people think. No more fear of not being good enough.
Just living the life I’ve always wanted and shining my light in the way I’ve always known I was meant to.
Dream life or bust,
jen
