Yesterday I had a really cute outfit on and I was feeling really good. Then I had a desire to take a picture of myself in said outfit.
Suddenly it was like a straight up BATTLE started in my inner world.
There was SO much judgment coming up around me wanting to take a picture of myself. It felt so wrong. And so weird.
It made no sense—it’s just a freaking picture! Other women take pictures of themselves and their outfits every day. Kim Kardashian has an entire book of selfies (that was a bestseller).
So, what gives? Why was I judging myself SO harshly for wanting to take a photograph?
I decided to dive in and find out. Turns out I had a whole lot of “stories” and misperceptions and judgments about what it means to take a full-body photo of yourself when you’re the one taking it (or to show off your body in any way, for that matter) … that it means you’re full of yourself or think you’re so great or so hot or better than everyone else.
And I grew up believing that it was wrong to be too “into” yourself. That being “into” yourself meant you were stuck up or a bitch, and, “oh, by the way, you’re not a model” and “you don’t look as good as you think you do.”
And photographs were always the number one way this showed up for me. That it was fine if someone else took a photo of you, but if you took one of yourself—ah! The wrongness if it!
NONE of this is true, mind you. It’s just what I learned and took in as a kid from what I heard and observed others saying and doing. And then it just becomes part of your subconscious and begins operating in the background without you even realizing that’s what’s happening.
This is how we end up with messed up beliefs and perspectives that actually GO AGAINST the desires we have. Desires that were given to us by the Divine and meant to be LIVED FULLY.
My desire, was to take a picture of myself and my outfit.
So I decided to release the judgment, put the current beliefs on hold temporarily, and just take the damn picture. I ended up taking several (most of which I deleted—HA!).
Afterward, it was clear there’s more to this desire than I’ve ever even allowed myself to explore. ‘Cause it felt really good. It felt like I finally figured out how to be the real me (the one who loves fashion and photos and, yes, being girly).
It’s amazing the ways we push down our desires and make ourselves wrong for wanting them or wrong for just being who we really are. Even something as simple and everyday as taking a photo of ourselves can cause World War III to break out in our inner world.
When I look back at all the amazing photo ops I’ve passed over in my life—while solo traveling or doing things when I’m alone—because of my (subconscious) limiting beliefs about it being wrong to take photos of yourself, it makes me sad.
It makes me sad that all of us have subconscious beliefs that aren’t even true holding us back from fully being who we are.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You don’t have to continue operating the way you have up ‘til now, believing the things you’ve subconsciously believed, doing or not doing the things you truly desire to do. You get to CHOSE.
You get to choose how you see yourself. You get to choose what you believe. You get to choose how you show up.
And the really cool part is, the more you listen to and indulge in your desires—no matter how dumb or weird or “wrong” you may think they are—the more abundance, ease and flow you begin to have in all areas of your life.
Why? Because feeling good is the point and the path🔥
jen
