A lot has been going on behind the scenes at Dream Life Or Bust headquarters the last few weeks. And while usually that means something brand new and awesome is in the works, this time around, it’s about things I’m actually letting go of. (OK—I may also have something brand new and awesome in the works because #OfCourse)
When I launched Dream Life Or Bust back in November 2017, I launched it with several projects I felt extremely passionate about taking on at the time–including a t-shirt line, a print-style digital magazine and a monthly book club.
Part of how I operate my life and business is when I get excited, passionate about and/or inspired by something, I dive right in and I take action. I don’t question it. I don’t spend tons of time thinking it through. I don’t even weigh the pros and cons (or at least not nearly as much as I used to).
I just take action. I act now and think later. I jump in with both feet and make it happen.
That’s just how I roll. It’s who I am.
But most people are afraid to operate like this, because they worry about what happens if they make a wrong choice. If they decide to do something or commit to something, and then down the line they discover they no longer want to do it or that it isn’t as fun or fulfilling as they thought it would be.
The real problem isn’t fear of making a wrong choice. It’s fear of what people will think if you don’t keep it up. If you decide to quit or if you fall off track or don’t continue with the commitment.
And so the best way to avoid this is to just never take action. To have dreams and ideas and goals, but to sit on them, waiting for the perfect time or the perfect conditions or circumstances before you do anything about it.
But here’s the thing… you’ll never, ever know what feels good to you, what’s aligned for you or what you actually want to be doing, unless you first do it and see how it feels.
That’s how I do things. And, yes, that does mean sometimes I commit to something and then later decide I no longer want to do it and have to back out. But I know that it’s OK if this happens.
Because I’ve given myself full permission to stop, quit or let go of anything that doesn’t make me feel good.
I spent most of the month of November putting together the debut issue of the print-style version of Dream Life Or Bust magazine. I was pumped about it, because having my own magazine was something I dreamed of all through college, while I was earning my degree in Journalism (and PR). (In fact, my first job out of college was working as an Assistant Editor at a print magazine in Southern California.)
But after I published the issue and put it out into the world, a thought hit me… I don’t want to do that again.
At first I thought it was fear. I’d just done something I’d been wanting to do. I did it and I put it out there for others to see, and I must have been Upper-Limiting and trying to sabotage myself.
So I pushed the thought off. I ignored it.
And back it came in February and March, when I was gearing up to put together the second issue of the magazine. I continued to tell myself that it was fear and I was just sabotaging myself.
I even went as far as to start writing some of the content and working with my Digital Content Manager on cover images and what not.
But it didn’t feel right.
I wasn’t excited about it. The passion had fizzled. It now felt like a chore. It felt like a huge project that I honestly didn’t want to do. So I resisted and procrastinated for weeks.
The original content deadline lapsed and instead of looking inside at what was really going on, I just set a new deadline and tried to continue pushing forward.
But, again, it still didn’t feel right.
Finally after the lapse of the second content deadline, I decided to tell my DCM what was up. I started to write a message to her on Facebook, apologizing for not sending her the content on time and telling her what was going on. And as I wrote that message, I got total clarity on why it didn’t feel right… Because print-style magazines in a digital world are old-school.
They’re old news. And while there may be some print magazines that have survived, the majority have found a way to become more digitally-focused.
I’m a modern entrepreneur living in the most badass time ever–the Digital Age. So why the hell was I trying to create such an old-school style magazine? Not to mention how limiting it felt to have a print-style digital magazine.
The space was so limited. There was only so much content I could fit in there. And the shelf-life wasn’t long enough–people who weren’t familiar with me or the brand wouldn’t even know the magazine existed, and all of the incredibly valuable content I’d created would fall on deaf ears after a short period of time.
I wanted something more. I wanted a way for that content to be evergreen, so you could find it a year from now or five years from now, and it would still be out there, easy to find and relevant.
Writing that message to my DCM was cathartic. It allowed me to figure out what was really bugging me, and as the realization of what I actually wanted to do dawned on me, not only did a whole bunch of inspired ideas come to me all at once, but I felt that passion again. The fire, the spark, the excitement, it all returned.
I accepted that having a print-style digital magazine didn’t feel good to me, nor was it really aligned with who I am and with how I want to operate my life and biz. And I made the decision right then and there to kill it.
I decided to no longer do a print-style digital magazine.
Instead, what was really lighting me up, was turning DreamLifeOrBust.com into a digital magazine, kind of like MindBodyGreen or Huffington Post. And instead of a print-style magazine, we’ll send out a quarterly “Best Of” email to all DLOB magazine subscribers that gives them all of the best content from the blog over the last 3 months, all in one place. (AND we can do a “Best Of DLOB” book every year and publish all of the best content from the year in one place.)
BOOM!
The rebirth of Dream Life Or Bust magazine, and in a way that was much more aligned and fun for me.
The new version of the magazine no longer feels bad to me. It feels SO good and I’m so excited to get to work on it.
Most people wouldn’t have made the decision I made. Most would have stuck with the original idea and just forced themselves to trudge through putting the second issue together. Because they’re afraid of what others will think about them “quitting” or because they’ve been programmed to believe that once you make a commitment you have to stick with it forever.
Don’t get me wrong–you definitely have to make a commitment to something and follow through and stick with it. But you don’t have to stick with every commitment or agreement you’ve made.
You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to stop, quit or let go of anything that doesn’t make you feel good.
You just have to give yourself permission.
That’s what I did. And it’s what I do.
But the only way for me to know whether or not something is aligned for me or if it does feel good is for me to do it. To give it a try and see what happens.
I’m not afraid of trying. I’m not afraid of quitting or letting go of stuff that’s not aligned or that doesn’t feel good to me anymore, because I’m committed to living my dream life and building my dream business. And these are the tough decisions that come along with it.
Another area where I’ve been struggling lately is with my DLOB monthly book club. I freaking love the idea of having a monthly book pick and sharing with my community what I’m reading and why.
But the idea of being forced into finishing the book in a set amount of time or having to schedule a livestream to discuss it was a total turn off for me. I hate scheduling things. I hate living on a time schedule. And even though I know there are some things that must be pre-scheduled, like appointments or calls with my private coaching clients, for the most part, I avoid scheduling things.
So for me to have to read a book within a 30-day period and then have to pre-schedule a set time to do a livestream and talk about it threw me into resistance big time.
In my dream life and business, I don’t schedule things (for the most part). I live and operate completely from flow and from what I feel like doing all day, every day. Now most days that flow does include things like writing my daily blog post and doing livestreams and stuff like that.
But when that stuff feels forced, I no longer want to do it.
I love reading and I will continue to read personal development books every month because that’s what I love and that’s who I am.
I will continue to share my monthly book picks with my community, because I believe that my book choices are divinely guided and are given to me at the perfect time and exactly when I and my community need it most. But I won’t continue to force myself into a pre-scheduled livestream discussion or even to read the whole book in 30 days if I don’t want to.
It’s not like I can’t do it. I can and I have been for months now. But it doesn’t feel good to me.
And a priority I’ve recently committed to is feeling as good as possible, all day every day. So if it doesn’t feel good, I’m not doing it. Period.
All of this really comes down to trusting yourself. To knowing that whatever you decide is perfect and whatever you change your mind about is perfect too.
My BIG goals in life are to be free, to be abundant AF, to be happy, to feel good and to have ease and flow in all areas. THAT is my true end game.
And so I’ve given myself full permission to terminate, quit, let go of, remove, dissolve or to shift anything that doesn’t feel good.
There may be things you have to do that don’t feel good to you, like taxes (this is my personal thorn-in-the-side, UGH!!!). And so for stuff like that you find a way to make it feel as good as possible. I hired a badass tax guy to handle it for me. And once a year when I do have to pull my tax shit from the previous year together and figure out my income and all of my deductions, I watch my favorite movies as I do it, that way I feel good even while doing something that I don’t like doing.
But for everything else, just give yourself permission to let it go. Give yourself permission to quit anything that makes you feel bad.
Your dream life awaits… but you’ll never find it by doing something that doesn’t feel good to you.
Dream life or bust,
jen
